Dad has Late Stage Alzheimer's and is in Rehab

abellemere

Im new here! My dad was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's (October 2020) He was living at home with a care giver during the day.  He fell the Sunday before Thanksgiving and broke his hip, had to have hip replacement surgery and we had him sent to rehab. The Monday after rehab I was visiting him and 30 mins after I left he got out of bed, fell and broke the replacement hip again and had to have it redone.  He said he was going home with me when he fell. So he has been in rehab with only window visits, facetime phone calls and middle of the night text messages from him.  I go visit him at the window everyday around the same time, if I dont he starts blowing up my phone.  I try to not go up there at least 1 day a week so I can get a day of sanity, however when I don't go up there, he calls everyone in his phone(I deleted everyone except my brother and his family and my families numbers) that I am lost in the desert and he cant find me.  I have tried sending my husband up there, my teenagers up there and yet I am still lost in the desert. Well every year in January we go to Hawaii for 2 weeks.  This year we canceled because my dad contracted Covid and was in ICU and we almost lost him 2 weeks ago, but we have decided to go to Colorado instead since it is only 8 hours away and a quick drive or flight.  We can only go in January or February so pushing it back isn't an option.  He likes to put the guilt trip on me and now everytime I go to see him, he thinks he is going home with me.  So how do I go on Vacation for a much needed break without the guilt and without him calling every family member because Im not at his window at 3:30?  I plan on facetiming him, texting him and sending him pictures but on normal days, that doesnt work.  This is all new to me, he has progressed rapidly since the fall and now we are at the late stage and of the anger, the hate, not knowing who I am, or where he is.  Just trying to get some advice before I leave for 7 days to enjoy time with my immediate family before my husband starts traveling again and my teenagers sports consume my life.  Thanks in advance

M1

Welcome abellemere.  Trying to understand, was he home by himself when he fell?  Sounds like he's to the point that he cannot be left alone, period, because he's not safe to walk independently.  He needs long-term placement after rehab, if he's not already there?  And regarding the telephone calls, you probably just need to take the telephone away from him, period.  There are lots of threads on this, and trying to reason with him is futile. The facility will call you if there's a problem.

Quilting brings calm

Go on your trip.   Have the facility  bring your dads’  phone to you on one of your window visits  before you leave on the trip.  Return it when you get back( or not).  Have them tell your your Dad you are going to get the batteries checked, etc.