wife is now two people

Pat Cat

Looking for diversion tactics to help me deal with my husband who thinks there are two Pats in his life. His wife who has gone and his caregiver. Both are the same person. ME.

he gets agitated when he doesn't know where his wife is. Wants me to leave so Pat can come home. He is kind and very grateful as has been his way all his life. Sometimes he tells me to keep a tab on expenses so his wife can pay me back.

Any ideas?

MN Chickadee

Sometimes the best thing is to just go along with it. It won't work to convince him or provide evidence or reason with him so just play along. As another poster here says often, the best answer is the one that brings the most comfort so figure out what that may be. Perhaps you just say your name is also Pat and his wife asked you to stay with him until she gets back. If he wants to know where she is provide a simple plausible answer and distract to something else (Pat is visiting her sister, on a business trip, whatever may have been true at some point in the past.) Often what they are really looking for is comfort and reassurance in their stormy and confusing reality. Statements like I am here for you, I will take care of this problem or take care of you. I'll stay until your wife gets back, I have some fun things planned. Don't worry she will come back, but let's do xyz in the mean time. And then distract with an activity or tasty treat or something pleasant to discuss or look at. If he tells you to track your expenses to pay you just say sure you'll do that and move on. I'm sorry this is happening, I know how hard it was when my mom started to not know I am was.

easy23

I am going thru the same thing. My husband thinks I am his wife and his girlfriend. Right now his wife is gone and the girlfriend is staying with him. He is very anxious about where his wife is. I have tried telling him that I am his wife, but he won't believe me. I see no other choice but to go along with it.