Severe speech issues

ch33zer

My grandmother suffers from severe memory issues that we believe is Alzheimer's, but do not have a formal diagnosis for. It's to the point where she forgets things after only 10-20 minutes of doing them (putting out cat food, loading then immediately unloading dishwasher, washing bedding, etc). She also suffers from incontinence. However, perhaps the hardest thing to deal with is her speech issues. They've progressed over the last several years to the point where now it's a good day if she's able to say a coherent word that day. When paired with the memory issues these speech problems are very hard to deal with. She'll say something and get angry if you ask her to repeat it. She can't really have any personal relationships with anyone outside the family because they understand her even less than we do. It's also almost impossible to carry on any kind of real conversation or tell her anything about the future because she'll forget it.

Does anyone have suggestions to deal with this? If not, just knowing I'm not alone would be nice

BarbaraG

That was the first thing we noticed with my mother in law.  Memory and speech. She would use the wrong words in a sentence and eventually it became "word salad."  We resisted for a long time but finally put her in a facility for 1 year near her home.  We live 1,000 miles away.  A few months ago we moved her to be near us and into another facility.  She got basically neglected and got covid so we brought her home last week. She already looks better now that she is getting fresh air, sunshine, and fluids.  She will never get better but at least we know we are doing the best we can and keep her out of the covid infested facilities that are short staffed.

Hang in there, you are not alone.

Barbara

feudman

Welcome...you are a good granddaughter to show concern, and I think there is good reason for it. If she is still living independently, she needs supervision (family, friends/neighbors or paid home caregivers) at the very least. I'm sure you can imagine the dangers. And if she does have dementia, it's only going to progress. Planning needs to be done asap. 

What about your parents? Would they be the ones to act on this? Is there a family member who could move in with her or take her in? I hope you can convince someone to step in before something bad happens, or eventually, it will. Please tell us more about your situation, so we can be of further help. (It would be helpful to fill out your profile).

Good luck...

Cynbar

This is sadly very common, you are definitely not alone. It can be very frustrating, but really the only way to deal with it is to try and stay ahead of it. Don't ask her to repeat, it will only upset her and get her agitated. Look around, try to figure out what she might want and then suggest it. She is probably trying to tell you something, not just make conversation. Is her coffee cold? Does she want the TV turned on or off? Is she asking where you're going if you put your coat on? You get the drift here. Most caregivers get fairly good at figuring this out, although not every single time so frustration will continue. Some posters here have also made or bought a picture board that their relative can refer to. The goal here is cut down as much as possible on upset to the person with dementia, which can lead to agitation and escalate everyone's problems. It sounds like she is pretty far along on the dementia timeline, I wouldn't expect her at this point to carry on a conversation or interact with other people -- that is something she is no longer capable of. And I agree with other posters, I hope she's not living alone.