When a Parent Does Not Recognizes You

Kuki

Hi everybody, 

It’s my first time posting here but I must do so because I am looking for caregivers who are going thru a similar situation and could help me get clarity on what I am going thru with my Mom.

I have been home with her for almost a year due to Covid. We got Covid at the beginning of  January this year. She also fell and hit her head really hard that same week. After the fall, her Alz has gotten worse. 

In one week, I had to take her to Urgent Care to get tested, the next day she had to be taken to the ER because she was not feeling well and three days later she falls and hits her head really hard against the door. Her entire routine changed 180 to the extreme.

She does not know who I am, she talks to me like if I was the aide, looks at me like trying to remember who I am. She calls me by my name but continues to think there is someone else in the house that is an aide that looks just like me and must be related to me. The confusion and the disorientation is enormous. 

My question is: How is it possible for her to be confused about me who has been home with her for a year but not be confused about other people?

Quilting brings calm

You mention the ER visit before the fall.... has she been to the doctor since the fall?   Head injuries can be deceiving.

Arrowhead

My wife and I were married 40 years when she was diagnosed. Within a year she forgot my name and our relationship. Our children were next. Three years later I showed her a picture of myself and my siblings. She named all three of them, but did not recognize me. She doesn't have any siblings to remember. However, she thinks that her parents, who both died in 2003, are still alive and she still recognizes their pictures. From others who have shared their stories, it appears that the ones closest to them are usually the first ones that they forget. It doesn't make sense to me, either.

harshedbuzz

It's entirely possible to recall some things while forgetting more important things and people. Sometimes it can be a function of a kind of mental time travel. The may be living in an era where you were off at school and certainly not the middle aged woman who is her caregiver. 

The fall or the damage to the brain that caused the fall could be part of this. Or it could be cognitive changes from the virus. 

My dad always knew who I was but he was iffy on my husband who he referred to as "the guy Harshed is shacking up with". He recalled his estranged granddaughter as a young girl but not the adult who robbed him to support her addiction but not my son who was at his house weekly to help out. Dad once pointed to a picture of his urologist and said it was my son; the doc was Japanese-American and my son looks like Ed Sheeran.

Allie Kat

Hi Kuki, My mom is at a point now that every time I greet her I tell her my name and that I'm her daughter. (Got that tip from here!) She sometimes says she knows then says I'm her sister, friend, or cousin.  She does know my name still, but not the names of her other two daughters.  She recently started to forget my dad's name and that he's her husband.  She has a hard time grasping that her husband can also be my dad.  Alzheimer's is such a horrible disease as we all know,  We just try to make the present comfortable for her given that she needs assistance with all tasks now and supervision.  This website is a wonderful resource.