Dad going downhill

Suzy23

My dad is now under the care of a neurologist (100 miles from where he lives) and will be going for a PET scan next week. 

A couple of weeks ago, this neurologist prescribed Paxil for his sleep problems plus his obsessive behaviors. The sleep has gotten much better. The obsessive behaviors I don’t see improvement yet. He doesn’t seem to be able to concentrate on any one thing for 4-8 hours at a time like before (vacuuming, picking leaves out of the hedges, etc) but he is still driven to do certain things that are not good and driving my mom around the bend, such as disconnecting the water pipes. 

He’s also getting more confused and forgetful. He’ll leave the gate open so the dogs escape more than once a day. 

A couple of days ago he was super confused and kept turning the TV off and on over and over and when my mom asked him whether she could help it ended up with him angry and her freaked out. The nurse at the neurologists said maybe he was dehydrated or had a UTI so my mom took him to his PCP and my dad put cold tap water in the sample urine cup and then looked like he didn’t know what they were talking about. My mom later got him to pee in the cup and drove back to the PCP. Who said he doesn’t have a UTI a d is not dehydrated and no sign of infection. 

After the PET scan there will be an appt with the neurologist online for the results and I should be able to attend so I’m really hoping it will help me and my mom plan. 

It was a long haul getting her to go this far  and I know he’s only going to need more help. 

jfkoc

I'm glad your mother has you and that you understand that life drastically changes. 

What we once thought was normal has gone out the window. 

The more education and learning you and your mother get the easier the "journey". There are many book and articles on line. I will start with my favorite which is I'm Still Here by John Zeisel. Other will undoubtedly chime in with their's.

Hang on...go with the flow...expect nothing...simplify everything...don't argue or reason...scream in the shower and breathe....deeply.....

You are not alone. We understand and are here for you.

[Deleted User]

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star26

Medication can help with some behavioral symptoms but no pill is going to take the place of home modifications, supervision, or the need for the caregiver to change the way he/she interacts with the PWD.  If you have not done so already, I'd try to get a combination padlock on the yard gate, a lock on the basement door, cabinet doors, and wherever else he is accessing pipes and getting into other trouble. Tools and potentially dangerous items should be locked up or removed entirely. He should not be left unsupervised. Even if someone is home with him, that person should know what he's doing and check on him periodically. This is probably tough for you since you are at a distance and will need to rely on your Mom to agree and do it. She might not want any changes in the house. Everything you are listing here is evidence that he needs supervision, including when following important directions for a medical test such as the urine sample. I second Victoria's point about determining what your Mom is capable of and willing to do and planning accordingly. She may not want to spend her life dealing with all this stuff (and more) and would prefer that professionals do it instead even if it means one or both of them is no longer living in that house, or other people are in the home with her. That's great that you've gotten her this far. I hope you can keep going until the situation is more under control with a diagnosis, buy-in from your Mom, a couple MDs that you can call on when you need help, and solid care plans and backup plans. It's a tough road.