Could my LO completely forget who we are within a week?

MyRacket

I'm new to the forum. Two days ago our family dropped my MIL off at memory care, at the door due to covid. We all felt horrible, as though we were abandoning her. She very bravely walked in with 2 kind employees. We were advised to not call for about a week so she could adjust. They said if she asked about us alot they would have her call us.  We call each day for an update but havent spoken to her yet. My MIL lost her husband a month ago, and went rapidly downhill after this event, forgetting who we are more often and needing more assistance with ADLs and most importantly falling more often. Because of these and other reasons, we decided, along with her psychiatrist,  MC was best at this point. My question is, will there be a chance she completely forgets who we are if we don't talk to or video chat with her for a week? Thank you!

Quilting brings calm

I don’t know.  It sounds like she may be grieving and it’s possible the companionship and newness of the MC may actually help her.  Even without Covid, they would have probably told you to stay away for an adjustment period.

MN Chickadee

There is no way to know for sure, but I'm guessing she won't forget you in a week. We stayed away from my LO for almost 6 weeks because of a hard adjustment period. The one time we tried to visit it really set her back so we staid away until it was clear she had settled in more. She still knew us and we had a lovely reunion when we finally came, and from then on our our weekly visits were lovely. I know how hard it is, fraught with grief and guilt and so many emotions. Hang in there, it gets better.

MyRacket

Thank you! That's reassuring.

MyRacket

Thank you for the advice! 6 weeks must have been terrible for you. IM glad theyre flexible with phone calls but not seeing the facility is difficult. We couldnt tour due to covid but my BIL is on the board of the facility so hes seen it. We can trust his judgement.

Rescue mom

It’s not the happiest factor, but there’s another issue to keep in mind. They often forget who you are even when you live with them. Forgetting who you are is a common thing that happens with this disease, regardless of circumstances. But helping her settle in her new surroundings is so important.

Deanna_M

Hi, I don’t have the answer to your question, but I have two observations. First, I have been surprised by what my mom has forgotten and what she retains. There seems to be no order to it! I guess it depends on where the memories are stored in her brain. Second, sometimes my mom knows who I am, other times she has no clue. So I try not to be too upset when it’s clear she doesn’t know me (easier said than done, I know!) because in all likelihood she will know me the next time I see her!

MyRacket

How true! My husband and I were just discussing this. In the mornings especially she would just look at us for awhile or completely forget who we were. Like I said to my husband, you didnt cause this to happen by moving her. Thank you!

MyRacket

Thank you for your reassurance!

Rescue mom

There is a thread on this board right now about a wife who doesn’t recognize her her husband, even though they live together and have been for decades. It just happens, whether you see each other often or not.