Learned to find my voice

Wilted Daughter

The long story: For years while mom's been in denial I've been sneaking around trying to get things done. Without a break since summer 2019 as full time PCA for mom in the home braking point was reached end of December 2020. 

The short story: I finally mustered up courage to speak my experiences and observations to mom's new PCP (old PCP went back and told her everything I said ). I was able to get VNA, PT for short time and now she's scheduled to take another "memory test", next week, with expected follow-up (unlike before). I have no expectations other than evaluation and see what comes next. I was told repeatedly to step into my full authority and act on our behalf, but this was overshadowed by mom's verbal opposition every step of the way on every single matter (fight to the end). So I let things slide by day and worked uncover by night (a terrible situation for someone who prefers to be direct and open, exhausting). 

I'm just glad I finally had the courage to address the issue head on for the benefit of us both (burnt out PCA...bad). It took from around 2014 to now (6 yrs) to get proper attention,  scheduled evaluation, documentation for better planning (structured, balanced lifestyle).

I hope my experience helps someone else to find his or her voice and do what is necessary for a better lifestyle. Thanks for reading! 

LaurenB

Yay!  I'm glad that you were able to find your voice.  Good for you.  I hope that the new tests will give you and the PCP some guidance to help get your LO the help that they need.

Lauren

GothicGremlin

This is huge, Wilted Daughter. I'm really happy for you.

LicketyGlitz

Good on you, Wilted! You nailed it, and don't regret the 6 years it took you to get there, that may have been the perfect amount of prep to get it done right.

You might have to change your screen name from WiltedDaughter to IGotThis!

SweeT97

Congrats to you for being courageous! Glad that you did not give up !

ButterflyWings

Dear 'daughter -- Way to go!!! Onward!!! You have been clear-eyed, and taking good care of your LO through these years with this terribly challenging disease we are all dealing with. It has to be so frustrating to have people pulling in the opposite direction, especially someone as influential as a PCP. That's the "expert", with so much power to help, support, or sabotage. So, you tried to use your voice before but did not have the right teammate in that crucial role. Sounds like now you do. What a relief to finally have this level of cooperation! Congrats to you for your persistence, and I wish you well as the next steps provide new opportunities for help.

Wilted Daughter

Thank you all for your support/feedback that has helped me, at my pace/experience, learn and develop plans of action. 

Memory appt is tomorrow via telemedicine video. Questionnaires, forms sent for mom to complete where mostly completed by me, as I was told to do. This is an opportunity to get the correct diagnoses and implement some sort of treatment plan forward. Mom remembers, "memory test" from the past and started to back pedal on completing the forms. Before I was afraid of her finding out the reports given to PCP. This time, I'm prepared to handle any results or feedback from memory test administrator, PCP, mom, etc. 

To help mom we must know and admit the truth. Enough is Enough!