Is this the beginning?

rutgerjen

Hi everyone,

My mom is almost 67 and recently moved in with us from another state in August.  She retired from a very busy job at that time.  Since moving in I thought she seemed depressed (there are alot of family issues) so I suggested she go and talk to someone which she agreed to.  I then noticed she was very negative or mean to her grandson which is abnormal (although he is a tween).  The biggest change is that my aunts have told me she has called them at night for the past 2 years every 2 weeks harping on old issues and fighting with her family.  They thought she was drinking.  Now that she moved in with us I am about 90 percent certain she isn't drinking.  The reason I say 90 is because I have only searched her room once and I have not noticed any strange behaviors.  My husband thinks she is sundowning.  She is worse at night.  I have tried to talk with her but she says she is fine.  I am having her see a new primary care doctor next week.  I think she needs a scan of her head.  What else do you recommend I do or should I say anything to her?  I have told her I was concerned because she repeats herself often but she got worried-I also told her we would see a neurologist.  Hx of one TIA.  Her sisters think she is an alcoholic but I don't ever see her drinking or hiding things.  Please help.  Is anyone else in anything similar?

Jo C.

Hello and a very warm welcome to you.  Your mother is very fortunate to have such a caring daughter who is also an excellent advocate on her behalf.

You are on the absolute right path by having your mother see a physician for assessment.  There are many different conditions that actually mimic dementia.  These include but are not limited to:

- Vitamin/mineral deficiency:  Such as, B12, B1, B7, folic acid, niacin, Vit D3, etc.  This would have to be found by blood draw and then remediation prescribed for correct amount of replacement.

- Thyroid Disorders

- Depression

- Medications both OTC, herbal and prescribed such as:  antihistamines, BP meds, cardiiovascular meds, sedatives, asthma meds, corticosteroids, pain pills, antidepressants, antianxiety meds, antibiotics,  some herbal meds, and more  ALL prescroptions and all OTC and herbals must be assessed by the physician.  NOTE:: Never stop meds without your physician's input and oversight.

- Infections including UTIs which can be chronic

-Tumors

- Diabetes

- Vision/Hearing Problems

- Sleep Apnea

- Sleep disorders

- Disorders of heart, lungs, liver, kidney

- Metabolic Disorder

- Autoimmune Disorder

- Metal and Environmental Toxicity

- Hypercalcemia

- Electrolyte Disorder

= Alcohol use

- Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus

- and more.

It is extremely important for the physician to do a very full exam with  broad selection of labs to rule out every possibility. He/she must take this seriously. The physician, in order to do a valid exam, will also need a detailed history of what has been happening, when and how long, all details that have been observed for all changes in cognition, function and behaviors.

It is sometimes difficult to speak about our Loved Ones (LOs) in front of them, so what I did was to write a detailed memo outlining all changes and problem issues and faxed it to the doctor's office a couple of working days prior to the appt.  I also let staff know it was coming and was time sensitive to the appt. date. Then I followed up to ensure the memo had got to the physician's desk.  I also carried a copy with me just in case the doctor had not read the memo. 

Your mother should never go to a appt. alone; she will need someone with her that can provide factual information and who can remember the MDs input and instructions.

If after the exam and labs nothing untoward is found, then the idea of seeing a dementia specialist is a very good idea.  You will want to ensure that all possibilities are once again screened.  If it is dementia, you will want to know what type is present; Alz's is only one dementia, there are others.  This is important as meds for one type of dementia can be contraindicated in another and make things even worse if given incorrectly.

A good Neurologist who sees dementia patients as a routine part of his/her practice is best at making an accurate diagnosis for type of dementia. Brain scans can be done, but they are not always going to show something.  My mother had several MRIs but nothing remarkable showed up.  When I got her to a good Neurologist, he ordered a SPECT Scan and there it was; FrontoTemporal Dementia.

Sometimes our LO will resist any idea that they have a memory issue or get angry if dementia or Alz. is mentioned; if that happens, we then use fiblets to get them to care; that is not unusual.

The Alzheimer's Assn. has a 24 Hour Helpline that can be reached at (800) 272-3900. If you call, ask to be transferred to a Care Consulant.  There are no fees for this service. Consultants are highly educated Social Workers who specialize in dementia and family dynamics.  They are very supportive for us and also have much information.

You will soon know what the issue is causing the behaviors and changes in your mother; do let us know how you are and how it is going. We are all here in support of one another, and that now includes you too

J.

jfkoc

ditto the above....a diagnosis following proper protocol is imperative!

Jo C.

ttt

rutgerjen

Thank you for your detailed reply.  It is much appreciated.  I will take these things into consideration.

rutgerjen

My mom just told me this morning she doesn't want me going to the doctor with her.  Not sure how to handle this.

Jo C.

Happy, happy sounding, jolly approach; "Let's go for lunch, (or a treat) after the doctor's office, "  then see what happens.  If nothing else, simply do not mention the appt. again; you will have to drive her, so just quietly go into the office and see what happens - but not mentioning your going in with her.  Be sure doctor has that memo outlining all changes in cognition, function and behaviors prior to the appt. and carry a copy with you - if you can simply and quietly walk into the room with her, good.  If not, then doctor will have information he needs.  This also keeps you from talking about your mother in front of her.

J.

J.