When to enlist in-home care

Lstride

My mother has been diagnosed with early onset of Alzheimer's.  When I speak to her she appears sometimes to be confused and her sense of logical thought is impaired.  She forgets common words and cannot remember basic things such as where I live or where she lives.  Due to Covid, my father who is her primary caregiver and exhausted as a result does not take her anywhere.  She is confined to the house with little motivation to do anything.  She spends her days doing laundry and rearranging her closets.  She does not display any motivation to read or work on the computer as she did in the past.  She is still capable of grooming, bathing herself etc.  She no longer cooks but can prepare a simple breakfast.  My father gets take-out nearly every day.

My question is - should we get in-home care even though my mom is functioning pretty normally?  I am thinking that it might be helpful for her to have some new company who can take her for walks and maybe do crafts/hobbies with her to give my father a break.  Thoughts?

star26

Yes, it’s time for help. Your statement that your Mom is “functioning pretty normally” does not match your description of her. She’s not functioning normally and requires supervision and that’s why your Dad is exhausted. Her lack of motivation to read or use the computer is more likely to be a loss of ability to enjoy and do those things. It’s hard to enjoy a book if you can’t remember what’s going on and who the characters are. I would definitely give your Dad regular breaks before he burns out. Whether you want to do that with Covid going on is a different issue. Even if she’s vaccinated and Covid outbreaks are low in your area, insist all staff always wear a mask and use other precautions. When it’s safe, adult day care is another option you may want to explore (she goes to a daycare center to spend a few hours or the day with other people and caregivers. They do activities and serve meals. It’s less expensive than in home care and sometimes preferable.)

LicketyGlitz

You are on the right track, L! Not only will an in-home care person be able to keep your mom engaged, but also give your dad a break, clear up some of that exhaustion!

If you go through an agency make sure and stress that the person should be active with the big part of their day engaging your mom in and out of the home. This is not an end-of-life situation but a gal who needs a pal to do things with.

We had a good experience with an agency person and then a annoying experience with an agency person (the woman never shut up and drove me and my mom nuts).

Eventually we privately hired which has been a good solution for our family. Although lots more work on our end with payroll and such.

Either way I think you're making the right decision to give in-home care a shot.