Inpatient evaluation

DoninNC

After suffering through almost daily rages, one so horrific I had to call 911, trying different meds, and different dosages, and having to call 911 again this morning, I had EMS take my DW to the hospital for an inpatient evaluation. After spending hours waiting to see the doctor, blood and urine tests, chest x-ray, ekg, CT scan, they finally got her to a room to do the evaluation and at that point I had to leave her. I got a call from the psych nurse that they were going to play with the meds and were going to try to place her in a dementia care facility for evaluation and to find the right meds for her. Hoping she can come home when done. 

Feeling sick to my stomach with guilt thinking of her being there and being so confused about what is going on. I know all she wants is to be home with her 3 dogs. I know it is for the best for both of us but still it breaks my heart.

Quilting brings calm

You did the right thing.   You got her care.

Arrowhead

Try to not feel guilty. Doing the right thing can be painful. My wife hasn't reached that point, yet. I'm trying to prepare myself for it. Besides taking care of her, you must also take care of yourself. Don't let her poor health damage yours. My father-in-law did, and he ended up dying first. Don't let that happen to you.

M1

Don you did the only thing you could. Be prepared it may take several weeks for things to stabilize. I can understand wanting to bring her home but it may turn out that memory care is better for both of you. Don't rule it out without careful consideration, I would listen carefully to what those working with her tell you. Meanwhile I hope you get some rest!

Ed1937

Don, you might feel bad now, but if they get her meds straightened out, it could be the best thing you could have done for both of you. I wish you the best.

aod326

Hi Don. It is so hard when doing the best thing for your LO feels like the worst. So many people on these boards have had great experience with these type of stays, so I expect this will be a good solution.

It's horrible not being able to see your LO. With DH, I felt like this was the time he "needed" me most, but it may well have been harder on me than him.

A suggestion: speak regularly with her doctor, as well as nurses. You should be fully included in decisions, explanations of why they are making the decisions and what the results are. You may have to push for this communication - I had to.

Hang in there, and best of luck.

DoninNC

They are still trying to find a dementia facility for my DW so she is still in the hospital. They said I could visit her this morning so I packed some clothing and personal hygiene items for her. By the time I got there at 11:15 they said she was being uncooperative and combative so they had to move her and they didn't want me to see her. I checked back later at 2:20 and they said she was still acting the same. I feel so sorry for her.

Ed1937

That has to be really hard. I think you have to focus on the potential payoff after her meds get straightened out.

DoninNC

Finally this morning DW was moved to a Behavioral Health facility. Unfortunately I can't visit her due to Covid restrictions. They have been in touch with me and said to expect her to be there for 10-14 days. It is part of a fairly new medical center and staff seems very helpful. It does make me feel better about this process. I still miss her but going to take the time to recharge and be stronger for her when she comes home.