My dear Valentine...one year later

Katy sue

Hello all and best wishes on this day!

One year ago today Tom walked into heaven. 

My daughter, son , and myself are still recovering, but adjusting well in our individual ways. As a spouse, I want to tell you that life is truly possible on the other side. Not easy. I will never fill that empty hole. I am learning to cope with it in positive ways. In that way I can negate some of the boredom and loneliness, heartache. But at the same time I allow myself to hurt ..and then heal. I am so grateful he was part of my life for 34 years. I am overwhelmingly grateful that he finally went to a better place and his soul is at peace. 

I have found joy in doing the things that I am passionate about...gardening, horses, fixing up the house. I’ve learned to pat myself on the back for becoming independent and learning about and dealing with all those guy things. And maintaining a decent budget.

And if another love should enter my life I would not turn that opportunity down. What we had can never be matched, nor was it ever meant to be compared with. It was unique. And so can another love be. I would be willing to risk it all again for the chance to love someone completely without fear.  And if that man never comes my way, this too is perfectly fine because intimacy is found deeply in many sources in this life.  

First, I hope you all enjoy this day in the best possible way that you can with all of your significant others.

Second, it is ok to feel angry, abandoned, lonely. You will all face this road that I have traveled. You will all be stronger than you have ever known possible. I hope you will always feel the love they leave you with. I hope deeply that you will live on with it.

All my best wishes and love,

Kathy

Ed1937

Kathy, what a day to lose someone special! I'm sorry. It will never be OK, but it seems you are doing pretty well. I hope a new love does come your way. In the meantime, take care of the horses, the garden, and the house. It's good that you have something you can love to do.

Crushed

Sometimes we "lose them" before the body dies.  Everything we are as a "person" is in our brain. Personality, memory, decision making, even walking are all metal functions.  The rest of the body is simply plumbing.     Dementia  steals personhood, leaving a shell behind.