Misuse of POA by stepson

CaregiverHelen

My stepson convinced my 83 year old dear husband with Lewy Body Dementia to make him his Power of Attorney to give the son “ something to do.” I objected, and just found out the stepson removed me as the beneficiary on my husband’s life insurance policies, and named himself as the beneficiary. Not only that, his son also took over ownership of the policies, and yet still has my husband paying the premiums! DH tells me he never gave him permission to do so. Now I have an expensive court battle on my hands, and my lawyer told me the son was “self dealing.” Has anyone else had this problem, and how was it resolved?

JJAz

1.  Get your attorney into gear ASAP to resolve this through legal action

2.  Separately and simultaneously, get your husband to sign a new POA naming you, and undo the stepson's mischief.

3.  Then seek guardianship/conservatorship of your husband to avoid him undoing everything again.

Yes, this happened to my friend.  It involved a lengthy and expensive lawsuit and ultimately negotiations that resulted in splitting the assets 3 ways (my friend and her husband's two sons).

CaregiverHelen

Thank you for your comments. That is my fear....a long and ugly battle with stepchildren 

who are only looking for money now that they see their father is in decline. They have never

been there for him before, and certainly do nothing for him now.

Caregiving is all consuming 24/7 and stressful enough, and now this emotional and expensive ordeal....brought on by the actions of those who have never lifted a finger.

We care for someone because we love them, but these other battles just add to the challenge.

I just hope my own health will survive all this.

Donr

Was your husband mentally able to understand what he was signing?

Crushed

in some areas State's attorneys have been able to start criminal proceedings in cases of self dealing 

You might contact them 

Here is a compilation of relevant state laws. https://www.justice.gov/elderjustice/prosecutors/statutes

Ed1937

I have nothing to add to what has already been said. But I want you to know that we will be here for you whenever you want to talk. Sorry you are dealing with this horrific turn of events.

CaregiverHelen

Thank you. I appreciate everyone’s support and advice.

dayn2nite2

If I'm remembering correctly, there was a time where your stepson took over care of him?  We advised you at that time to see an attorney because this was likely to happen and you needed to protect him and you.  You will have to fight this out in court now.

That advice is too late for you at this time, but we do have many stepparents on this board who need to protect themselves from this happening to them, which is why I'm posting.

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jfkoc

you must get legal help asap...sorry

CaregiverHelen

Thank you for this article! And yes, I did get an attorney before, but it has been one thing after another with these adult stepchildren looking for money now that there father’s health is in decline. They keep saying: well, SHE gets the house! (which still has a huge mortgage on it because my husband borrowed against it to pay for his kids schooling, expenses, and his own businesses. It’s 100 yrs. old and also needs constant repairs and many upgrades.) He later had to file for bankruptcy anyway. House is all he has left. No savings. His kids look to the insurance policies as an inheritance they feel he owes them. They took me off all the policies. And they have my husband paying for all the expensive premiums with HIS disability check!

Ed1937

CaregiverHelen wrote:

And yes, I did get an attorney before...........They took me off all the policies. And they have my husband paying for all the expensive premiums with HIS disability check!

It really sounds like you need to one again. Possibly a different one.

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Crushed

Victoria2020 wrote:

To be blunt, after he passes you'll just get the funeral bills.

I assume you are speaking metaphorically , no she will not have funeral bills.

But something does not make sense.  WHO IS THE REPRESENTATIVE PAYEE with SOCIAL  SECURITY?

POA means nothing to social security

WHO IS THE REPRESENTATIVE PAYEE

  

CaregiverHelen

Yes. And to add more stress to these legal issues with his son, last night my DH had another bad hallucination in the middle of the night. He woke me up and started screaming at me... “WHO ARE YOU F-ING NOW???” WHO IS THIS GUY IN BED WITH YOU????” YOU HAVE NO SHAME!!!” In the past, he has even called me a whore. There is no basis for this, but there was no talking him out of it, which so many of you know is impossible with dementia. I know that these horrid accusations of infidelity are a common part of the disease, but it’s still so hard to go through this on a regular basis. I do my best to reassure him, and calm him with pronouncements of love and caring, but in those moments nothing works. His Aricept was increased recently, but these outbursts can still happen. It is all taking its toll on me....