Alternative to Using the term Depends

Valentinegirl60

My DH was diagnosed with EOAD in September 2019.  At that time, getting on to this website was a nightmare especially if he was in the same room.  I believe it's because he was in denial. I would only get on after I had gotten him safely into bed.  But to be perfectly honest with everyone on this site, I too was in denial to some degree.  So I used that time for personal therapy - quilting. For the past two - three months I've been assisting him with his toileting.  Recently I've noticed at times he no longer remembers how to use the bathroom.  I've done my best to get him to sit down to urinate and it works sometimes.  For the past two weeks he's experiencing more accidents because in his mind he doesn't need assistance.  And twice in the past week he has wet the bed.  Today I brought up the fact we may have to begin to wear "adult protective garments" under his pajamas.  He asked what that meant and sadly I told him they were adult Depends.  I didn't know how else to explain it. He said he'd rather die than wear them.  Has anyone used another term for Depends for a man?  Bless you and thank you!

Marta

IMO:  do not tell him.  Simply replace his underwear with Depends, and call it underwear.

Fingers crossed he does not notice.

Doityourselfer

My husband has been wearing disposable briefs for almost a year.  I call them underwear.  He has no clue what they are and doesn't ask about them but he is at the beginning of the severe stage of AD.  

ladyzetta

I bought my size and his size I told him I was going to ware them also just in case I had a accident. It worked and I only wore mine a few times and made sure he noticed. He wore his from then on. Hope this helps.

Crushed

Best term I heard was ASTRONAUT pants.  Take offs can be scary

Cynbar

My DH had worn adult diapers (no other word for it) when he was in short term rehab, and swore he would never wear them again, no matter what. As he had more trouble with the bathroom at home, I never thought I could talk him into them. I finally bought the Depends which are a dark green and look much more like regular underwear. One day I just put them out with his clothes, said they were disposable underwear to save money on laundry. He bought it (he loves to save money) and he's worn them ever since, with no argument.

star26

I always call them disposable underwear. I add "They're so convenient. Everyone's wearing them now!" but he sometimes gives me a suspicious look when I say that. I also show him the picture of the handsome young stud on the wrapper wearing them. You might also try putting men's incontinence pads in all his existing underwear and see how that works.  Or, if you're really stuck, you can try "pee proof underwear for men". They're washable.

JJAz

Briefs

mrl

Briefs

harshedbuzz

We called them briefs or underwear.

When the time came, all his regular underwear was "in the wash" and Depends were in the drawer. We never discussed the need to transition.

For my aunt, we referred to them as "new disposable paper panties" to reduce laundry and the impact on her septic tank.

Jeff86

When I determined that DW had moved on from an occasional accident to incontinence, I switched from underwear to adult diapers, without mentioning it.  She appears not to have noticed the change.  And I refer to them, as others do, as underwear.  This is one lucky thing that has not been an issue, for us!

Ed1937

When it came time for my wife to use them, I simply went out, and bought some. I brought them home, showed her what I bought, and asked he if she would try them. She agreed, and the others are history. They disappeared from her drawer that day.

LUBY2883

underwear.. of which they would be familiar.. doesn't make any difference what you call them except don't call them Depends! Always ask if they would like to change clothing. Suggestions for them to decide  works better than, "You need to wear Depends. That's insulting. They are still adults. Shall we change clothes for today? .. for instance.

anneleigh

I told DH it was underwear.  I also took all regular briefs and underwear out of the drawers and DH accepted he had to wear what I gave him.

I guess the depends are great when there are dribbles on a regular day,  but my DH is also at the stage where he gets to the toilet and wonders what to do. I usually go through each step with him and try to get him to sit on toilet without dribbling before he sits down.  The worst part of the day is clean up time and using all the extra towels etc.  Have a good night all~