late stage 7(1)

Crushed

I actually get a little jealous of anyone who describes their spouse as using actual words or doing ANYTHING.   Or developed symptoms after age 60.     

According to my notes the last time DW  used actual words was August of 2018.  She lost all recognition of me by January 2019. She likes very nice personal caretaker who sees her for 30 hours a week but does not seem distressed when  the caretaker is not there. Covid hs not been a problem.  She has no understanding and the passage of time means nothing

I see her every day on Face time. She looks lovely and is well cared for.   She walks and and is hand fed.  she will Chair dance to music.   That's it.  She is 68.  She has had this disease for at least 11 years. 

 DW was my life.  We met in 1970.  In 1971 I talked to her on a stairway and fell hopelessly in love. 50 years ago this September.  She was brilliant and beautiful and she loved me.  She is gone but I make sure the shell left behind is well taken care of.   

LadyTexan

I am sending cyber-hugs and love to you dear Crushed. You are a good man.

Nowhere

It’s a case of the grass is greener on the other side. I have feelings of jealousy that your wife with eleven years of dementia does not seem distressed and even chair dances. Mine with twelve years plus disease and placed in a facility six months ago breaks windows and sends up to 70 one line emails a day saying things like, “If you loved me you’d get me out of this prison! Where are you? Are you still my wife? I’m working and living here but I have no money.  I’m being bullied. God darn* it I love you. I don’t ‘no’ where I am. Don’t ever leave me. I need you. You’re a thief. How could you do this to me? I do not have ‘altimeters’. A few nights ago his last one before morning was, “I’m breaking a window -meet me in the alley in 15 minutes”. 

I understand, Crunch. Your wife appears peaceful, yet is a “shell” and lost, right in front and your eyes. You see her and miss her impossibly terribly. She can’t do the same.  It’s a horrendous loss and disease for you both. I’m so sorry. I relate from the other side of my fence.