Mom said she is done eating (cross post)

Tross760

Yesterday mom only drank about 1/4 of her chocolate ensure. This morning I asked if she was hungry.She just flat out told me no and she mumbled that she is done eating. She is sleeping almost around the clock, completely out of it when awake. She will drink water and does mumble that she wants her meds, but even the water is declining. She urinates still, but has failed to bm in several days. If she doesn’t eat tomorrow, I am assuming we are on her final decent? I am not sure it really improves from here huh? I have never been in this position before. The unknown is difficult at times. I am praying my mom is at peace inside as she goes through this.

(=Meow=)

Maybe, maybe not.  Doctors are not always helpful as they get burned out as well, but my mom has decided she didn't like food anymore....till she does again, then she eats everything in sight except veggies, she's never liked veggies, especially now that she has dentures.

It could be as simple as another underlying condition, fix that and their appetites come back =/

Cynbar

Continue to offer her food and drink she likes and is easy to get down, but absolutely don't push it. It's hard to predict, sometimes a person will start taking some food again. But this is part of the natural end of life process, her body will need less and less as it slowly shuts down. Take your cues from her. As to how long this stage can last, it's hard to say, sometimes people can last for many days with very little or no intake. It has to play out in its own time.

Quilting brings calm

Hugs, Tross.  Have you gotten the additional help you needed from hospice or elsewhere?  I know this is exhausting you.

Tross760

Thank you all. Mom hasn’t eaten any solid food for a few weeks now as she can’t swallow it. I am hopeful she will decide she is hungry for her “chocolate shake”. If not, I can understand that her body no longer needs the food. 

I have regular hospice visits,  as she has been progressing , they confirm it is the body’s way of slowly shutting down. There have been a few estimates as to the timing of end of life for her- although no one can know for sure, there are many telltale signs. They were able to control a bit more of her terminal agitation- as they call it. At least with so much sleep she is at peace I hope,  versus being so unsettled like before. 

While this has been emotionally challenging, with all her sleeping things have been very quiet around the home. 

mommyandme (m&m)

I believe that if she’s sleeping peacefully, she’s at peace and therefore you can rest peacefully with that too. 

I really care about what you’re going through. 

MVChappy

This is EXACTLY where I'm at...DW has stopped eating for about a month now...Her daily diet is: 1/8 of a bowl of cereal for lunch, as she sleeps till about 11:00 am & then a small cup of yogurt for dinner....nothing in between....I've been spoon feeding her for several months now...At times she will push the spoon out with her tongue, & at other times simply won't open her mouth....Liquids..She used to woof down chocolate Ensure, now drinks it with no enthusiasm I try to get two bottles down every day but that has become a struggle as well. She now sleeps at the table in her wheelchair, most of the day in front of the TV not absorbing anything she's watching....  As of this week she is 100% incontinent...I'm amazed how she can survive in this condition....She is under Hospice in home care, and they are very reluctant to predict deadlines or times....I'm sure it was in their training... We are married 48 years & we always felt when the end came we wanted it quick. I know she would not want this life if she was aware, I certainly wouldn't either...I always believed when 'quality' of life ceases,with no guaranteed return, then it should end....DW is alive but dead.... I hope for her demise, and not for selfish reasons, but to bring her to the peaceful place in Heaven where she needs to be.....

dayn2nite2

As long as there is any food or drink being consumed they are probably not actively dying.  Continue to offer and if it’s accepted, fine.  If not, offer later.

Tross760

MVChappy, I am so sorry you are going through this as well. It is so difficult. Mom stopped eating completely now, it has been three days. The o it water she has consumed has been enough to take her pills and even that is getting difficult for her. I so want her to just pass peacefully. Not for me, but for her. This is certainly not living.

MVChappy

Please keep us posted as to your progress, You are in my thoughts & prayers...........

jfkoc

Perhaps the pills could be stopped? I would check with her Dr.

Tross760

 Hi all, chappy, 

Well it has been rough. Mom is right on the edge of actively passing and not quite there. Vitals are good, but no food in five days and no water anymore. Nurses think a week- maybe two max. Pain and agitation meds are liquified and given orally via syringe. These seem to be helping her. If we miss the timeframe where they wear off, you can tell she is unhappy. I will spare details unless someone feels more information is helpful to their situation (message me). But I am doing my bests to see mom off the most classy and graceful way possible. 

Dad is in ER, he is basically failure to thrive the doc said. Working on getting a plan of care for him and have him see mom before she passes. 

Not a fun time, but I feel I have done a decent job making sure mom is being well taken care of. 

Quilting brings calm

Tross... I am so sorry that your Mom and Dad are having to go thru such an ordeal.  Dying is not an easy or quick process and and it’s so stressful and emotional on your Mom and the entire family.  No wonder your Dad is in the hospital.  It’s possible you could be too.

Azadi

Tross,

I am very sorry you are going through this. It happened to me 3 weeks ago. My mom started sleeping more and refusing to eat and drink. It took a week for her to pass away. Do you know your mom's oxygen level? The day she passed her oxygen level was in 60's but got to 20's at the end. The urine was so dark. She was transferred to a hospital the last day and was given morphine which helped her with pain. She passed away in the hospital while she was sleeping. I am sorry you have to worry about your dad at the same time.