Are you considering placement - ever?

Ed1937

If so, this is a must read thread from last June. https://www.alzconnected.org/discussion.aspx?g=posts&t=2147552810  

toni2

Hi Ed, I would recommend that if you are looking for a placement for your loved one that you visit as many places unannounced as you can and walk through all the halls and look everywhere. When I had to place my DH that is what my daughter and I did. Then we talked about what we saw and contacted the place we thought was best. 

That place took such good care of him that he actually loved the people. That didn't mean he didn't want to come home but they loved him and respected us as a family. He died before covid19 hit which I am very thankful because he wanted to see me every day. I went there at 8AM every day and stayed until 5 PM when someone else in the family came to stay till he went to bed. It was the hardest thing I ever had to go through but I know he felt loved until the end.   

I still miss him.

Toni

Jo C.

Thanks Ed for bringing this back up to the top.  It is a really good discussion and one we need to see more often.  Really difficult decisions to make and sometimes difficult to find promises kept that were made by admin. and marketing staff who were using smoke and mirrors just to fill beds to pacify the corporate office  . . .

Discovering what a MC facility is licensed for is SO important.   Some will take only those who are fully ambulatory, others are more open and will care through all decline.   Some have very stringent points at which they will ask the patient to leave, but this does not often come up during the search; one needs to ask that question specifically.  Asking staff how long they have worked there is good and also staff can share at  what point a resident will be asked to leave as long as admin. is not with them at the time the question is asked.

Having a Plan B or Plan C whether or not one ever, ever plans to use a care facility is just good sense. Sometimes situations arise that we could never imagine and such a care level is absolutely necessary; sometimes needed very quickly, so knowing in advance just what care facilities are acceptable is a very positive bit of knowledge to have in our caregiver tool boxes.

J.

Cynbar

I remember this thread, thanks for bringing it back. I have my DH at home in very late stage 6, hope to keep him here, but these boards have shown me that I need a Plan B and C, just in case. He went to respite a year ago while I had hip surgery, that taught me a lot about the process and gave me an impetus to tour local facilities, remembering the questions that I saw here. I now have a couple picked out that would be satisfactory, just in case. It also occurred to me that I need to be prepared in case something suddenly happens to me, so I have spoken to both children about what to do for their Dad if that should happen. And, I made sure my son (our HCP and DPOA) knows how to access all our financial, legal and insurance information. I though doing all this would be upsetting but the opposite was true, I feel a lot more relaxed about the future.

Ed1937

Jo C. wrote:

It is a really good discussion and one we need to see more often.  

Jo, you've been around here for some time. Is it possible to make it a sticky thread? It can be so helpful to many people who may never see it, otherwise.

Jo C.

Hello Ed; I do not even know what that is. I am with technical things, wish I knew how to save all of this for ease of calling things up.  Trying to do a "search" is an exercise in futility and frustration; but would be nice if we had a "library" of extraordinary helpful Threads.  Maybe we can think of something with a little help; perhaps asking the Contact :Us at the top of the page would know how to do it.  They are pretty good.

J.

Ed1937

Thanks, Jo. I'll contact them to see if that can be done. In the meantime, if I find an outstanding thread, it gets bookmarked.

Edit: BTW, a sticky thread are those that always appear at the top of the main page of the forum. So far, there are only a couple written by administration of the site.

AlyJo

I would like to have a plan B or C.  I better get working on it.  As long as I can care for DH I will even if I wear myself out.  We cant afford full time care in a facility.  I may get part time help in our home at some point.  If something happens to me then my life insurance, sale of our home and retirement money will be more than enough to care for him.  I guess I should look at facilities so that my sons know what to do if it has to be done quickly.

You are all really good at making us see the reality of things that are to come.  Even if we don't want to see it. 

Crushed

AlyJo wrote:

  We cant afford full time care in a facility.  I may get part time help in our home at some point.  If something happens to me then my life insurance, sale of our home and retirement money will be more than enough to care for him.

What happens if that "something" is YOU need full time care?  THAT is what you need a plan for.