FIL finally permanently in my household

KawKaw

We moved early November 2020 near my FIL so that he could more easily live with us, not having to leave his familiar area where he's lived for many many years.

Before that, my spouse and his brother had been switching off staying with him in his home (since July 2020)

However, after we had somewhat settled in, my FIL did not want to leave his home.

My spouse spent much of his time at his father's house in the months from November to January, which was rough on us both, but necessary to care for his father.

Finally, finally hooray!  My father came to stay a couple weeks ago.

It is so much easier on me and my spouse to have him here.

My spouse works from home and can spend a few minutes with his father every half hour or so.

My FIL is disoriented and has forgotten his previous house, but still stresses about where his truck is (which has been disabled for over a year) and gets up some mornings thinking his is still in the Navy and must get to the base.

He loves our dogs and the dogs love him.

So far, he has been gentle, cooperative and asks for assistance.

Having experienced my mother's severe dementia, I know this is unlikely to last.

However, so far it is a huge improvement in all our lives.  I am relieved to have him here when we can keep him safer.

I am going to order door alarms, though.

He has had one bathroom accident, but is otherwise comfortable taking care of his moment to moment needs, including showering, though my spouse keeps an ear and eye out while he showers.

I am familiar with the progression that is ahead of us.

I am sad for him.  I am glad I can help make these months/years safer for him.  He raised my husband well.  

Cynbar

Congratulations, this does sound like a good solution for your family. You sound like a devoted daughter-in-law, not always easy to be! Best of luck moving forward.

Azadi

I am so proud of you to be a very kind daughter in law and support your husband to help his dad. I had a very bad experience in our family where the daughter in law was angry why her husband does not run her errands anymore because he was helping his mom. She wanted her in the nursing home.

KawKaw

Thank you both!

I don't perceive myself as devoted, though I think I am motivated.

He continues to be gentle, though confused.  Food can interrupt obsessive thoughts, or television shows about animals, though not for long.

Now that he is finally living here, I am hoping to get him moved from the sofa in the family room to the room we prepared.

He spends half the day there (between going out into the back yard to sit in the sun) and he sleeps there too.

Earlier today, I was hanging his familiar pictures in the room I hope he will eventually begin using.  It has an attached bath so less distance to travel during the night.  It also has the best view of any room in the house.  

He loves the mountains he can see from this room.