Communication and incontinence issues

carynm

I am new here so please bear with me..I am a caregiver to my sister who has early onset alz.  She was diagnosed six years ago and has progressed pretty quickly.  She lost her communication skills almost immediately.  I have not had a conversation with her in about 5 years.   Makes thing extremely  frustrating ..she also lost her ability to toilet herself..she will use the toilet but does not wipe herself..this has been going on for at least 4 years.  Now she forgets to pull down her underwear and i am finding her wet sometime 2 or 3 times a day.  The really hard part is if she forgets and has a bowel movement.. I really wouldn't  mind as much but i cant get any cooperation out of her because she doesnt really understand what I say to her and she cant tell me anything either.  I try to ask her if she has to go but her answer is always yeah or ok..thats about all she can say.   Then if i bring her to the bathroom i cannot get her to understand she is there to use the toilet..she is very stubborn as well..alway has been and unfortunately doesn't appear to have lost that trait lol..i don't know if anyone has any advice or suggestions but thanks for letting me vent..so frustrating and i really try to not lose my patience  but after several years of this..its getting difficult..

RobOT

Welcome, carynm, I have one idea that might help, maybe someone else will have something too.  The first part is a toileting schedule.  Take her to the bathroom every two hours and try to get her to pull down her pants and sit.  It gives her a chance to go even if it wasn't her idea.  The second part is to lure her in with something she likes--even food--to distract her while you get the pants down and coax her to sit.  Is she wearing pull up diapers?  That would be better than regular underwear.  I know this situation is really frustrating, I hope this helps you out.

Cobalt

Totally agree with the toileting schedule, it does help.  Just so you know, in some people with dementia, their brains do not always tell them when they have to go, or even if they have already gone. We put my son into adult diapers most of the time in June.  It's no longer an issue for him that he's not wearing his regular underwear.  And we have LOTS of wipes at the toilet.