Obsessions(1)

GothicGremlin

I know PWD often become obsessed with things, which causes them stress, and so we try to avoid the thing that is causing them stress.  Usually it's something like a phone or some other mechanical object, and usually the fix is to remove the item.

Our problem is that my sister is obsessed with her cat. She's convinced the cat is in imminent danger of death, and that if she doesn't see the cat for a couple of hours, she's sure the cat has died.  In reality, her cat is completely healthy. She's probably around ten years old, so aging, but looks and acts like a much younger cat.  She'll probably outlive us all.

I really don't know what to do about this. I would say 90% of conversations center around the health/potential death of her cat, or her reminding me that this cat was the only survivor of the litter, that the mother cat took off, and that my sister had to bottle fed her so that she could survive.

This obsession is causing my sister a lot of stress, which causes her aphasia to increase and her cognition/comprehension to plummet. In spite of this, her cat does bring her a lot of joy too.

Soooo, there is no way in good conscious that I can take her cat away from her, but I have no idea how to lessen the obsession (or if that's even possible).  Thoughts?

harshedbuzz

GG-

My dad's obsession was my late sister. He often time-traveled a bit; we would join him often in a mishmash of time periods, so sometimes she was still alive and well, sometimes she was gravely ill and sometimes he wasn't sure what was going on because information was being kept from him. I wonder if perhaps your sister is traveling back to a time when the cat was young and in danger from being abandoned. 

What sometimes worked, was using his perseveration as a segue to telling him a funny story about her when she was younger. This usually reassured him and helped him not become upset over her. Perhaps a story about what a hero she was to hand raise her cat from a kitten would be an appropriate redirection of a sort. IME, sometimes this becomes a complete rinse and repeat activity because of the anxiety and poor short term memory.

If this is driven by anxiety, treating that might help as well. 

HB

M1

I'm not sure I have an answer but I sure have empathy.  My partner is an animal lover, and we have four cats--counting them, remembering who and where they are (two indoor/two outdoor) and whether they have been fed is a constant merry-go-round and the main subject in the evening (early sundowning it seems).   She is overfeeding them and I can't get her to stop.  Maybe the store is going to have to run out of food--but I think she'll see through that in a heartbeat, unfortunately.

I was thinking your sister might enjoy one of the robocats that are now available, but maybe it's too soon for that.

mommyandme (m&m)

My mother had the same problem. She also added to that that I wasn’t being kind to the cats.  Um EXCUSE ME! lol  I brought her two cats along with us on an airplane in the middle of a pandemic, dammit.  I often just find the cat and bring it to her or reassure her again and again.  

She seems to have moved on somewhat.  Actually thinks one of the cats is mine, um noooooo.  She has a really cute stuffed cat I presented to her about 6 mos ago. Helped with lots of things, picking her skin incessantly was huge. Stuffed cat goes with her everywhere.  

My opinion is the cat stress may pass or at least diminish some, hopefully. 

GothicGremlin

These are all great responses, thank you so much. 

It's a little too soon for robocats and stuffed cats, but I'm filing that away for the future because there will be a day (probably within the year) when those are the right solution.  We have always had cats, always, and for her not to have one would leave a huge void, so a stuffed cat or robocat will probably be a lifesaver.

And you know what, M1, my sister overfeeds her cat too. I have a standing order at Chewy, and because of the overfeeding, I often have to modify it.  Saves me a few trips to the store though, so it's worth it.

harshedbuzz, that's a really good perspective, I think you might be right about the time-traveling. My sister has always taken in strays, so I bet the abandonment issue is very present in her mind. She's probably going right back to that time.  Also, I think I'll talk to her doctor about anxiety.  That didn't occur to me, but as I think about it, there are signs.

Thanks again, all of you.

Rescue mom

As mentioned already, obsession and anxiety often go hand-in-hand. Your doctors may be able to help with meds for that.

AlyJo

M1....oh my gosh I has thought counting the animals was strange but I did not know the obsession was Alzheimer's related.  He does some strange things and I just wonder why.  He counts the animals many times a day.  He can't see one that is right in front of him and when he calls them they just lift their heads and look at him.

This forum is helping me see that I am not totally crazy.....maybe just a little....some things are creepy.  Like standing over me when I am asleep watching me.   I can feel him looking at me.  I ask what he wants and he doesn't know.   

I hope it is ok that I laugh on the inside because I don't know what else to do.