Now what?(4)

Tross760

After you lose your LO, it feels like, now what? What do I do? What do I do with myself, my dad, life? I have had periods of crying, but I think I am in a state of shock and sometimes I am just blank. My mind is not focused on anything in particular, I can’t really focus on shows or reading. I feel a bit lost now. 

There are plenty of things I have to do to now care for my dad and my parents (dad’s) future well being, but outside that I personally feel like I am just floating along....

jfkoc

Yes, now what? 

We understand that we have lost a loved one. The reality is we also lost a job. We lost an identity. We lost the perimeters and boundaries that came with being a care giver. We lost a lot.

I understand your feeling of blankness and it took a long time to truly lose that.  

The fog did lift but it sure took its' time. 

I am 5 years into widowhood. I am a very different person today than I was before my husband became ill. I feel much like the Velveteen Rabbit...sort of warn out but more comfortable in my skin.

added; what was most helpful to me was getting involved with something new with new people who took me on face value from the get go.

Cynbar

It is still very soon, recovery is going to take awhile for you and your dad. With all you have to do, give yourself time to grieve. And please take advantage of the bereavement services offered through your hospice. Their expertise is in helping devastated family members put themselves back together again.

Tross760

Thank you all. The social worker with hospice is amazing, if I met her outside of all this, I would for sure choose her to be a friend of mine. 

I know there is so much to take care of moving forward, but I do just feel “blank” right now. Luckily when mom first “fell ill” with all this in October, I quickly got myself some help through my insurance. I am definitely ot to prideful to know I need all the help I can get right now and through the near future. 

jfkoc

You know we are here during your "blankness" and after.

Regina312

That emptiness and blankness you are feeling is normal and to be expected.  I lost my mom 5 years ago to this terrible disease.  I was her primary caretaker for years.  I am an only child, so I was all she had.  My Dad had passed many years before.  Everything I did revolved around her.  At the same time I was raising my son.  As fate would have it, my Mom passed the same summer my son headed off to college.  I was so lost.  Even though I had my hubby, friends and support, that feeling of losing my Mom to death and my son on his new journey, the feeling of being alone was overwhelming.  So I continued with my support groups, took to my journaling and began volunteering.  My volunteer work was the best thing I ever did and still do.  It gave me that meaning and that purpose I so missed with my mother's passing.  You will forever grieve and miss your loved one.  You will always ache and shed tears.  But it will get a little easier with more smiles and less tears.   The journey is a long one.  Stay active here and participate in the "Longest Day" if you can.  It is a wonderful way to stay connected with Alzheimer's, show your support and fundraise for the cause.  All the best.