Why can't it always be the same?

Ed1937

Not too long ago, my wife wanted to go to her mother's place. But I wasn't sure if she knew her mother was dead. It wasn't long before the subject turned to my mother. I told her my mother was dead. She said "well, so is mine". So I guess she wanted to visit the gravesite.

This morning she wanted to go again. I asked her what she would do if we could go. She said she'd visit with her mother. Again I told her the roads were closed in Illinois due to Covid. 

I'd say 80% of the time she acts like she knows exactly what is going on. Very normal. Why is it that when she says something, it will mean one thing, and the exact phrase will mean something totally different another time? 

She worked as an RN, and her favorite place to work was when she worked in the hospital, on the afternoon shift, also known as "three to elevens" (three o'clock to eleven). Now when she gets stuck finding a word, she will very frequently say something like "Let's go to the "three to elevens". And she can't understand why I don't know what she wants. And she will almost always either quit talking after several attempts when she gets stuck, or "three to elevens" becomes the missing word. It's mind boggling!

nancyj194

Ed, you handled it so well with your DW wanting to go see her mother and then again with yours.  It is so hard to know what to do when those questions/comments pop up.  

That's the nature of the disease, which can be all over the place at times.  

My DH still seems aware that his mother is gone, as is his younger sister. Maybe one day he won't.  

Interesting about the three to eleven comments. Maybe the reasoning with that comment is truly gone, but that phrase is stuck in her brain and so out it comes.  It is frustrating when she is trying to say something, but you can't figure it out.  It happens a lot with my DH. After a bit it time with me trying to understand, he will say, "oh never mind."

sandwichone123

Your wife was right. I used to love working the 3-11 shift. Sleep in, maybe go out for lunch, go to work, come home and relax, go to bed. It was a great life!

Diane

abc123

Ed, I think everything about this disease is mind boggling. I'm sorry for what you and she are going through. I'd give anything to have a conversation with my Mom. I miss that so much. As you well know, this disease has no boundaries. It truly robs our LO's of everything.

Thank you for sharing so much with us. I hope you know how much you are respected and appreciated.