Dementia Exiled

LicketyGlitz

The last two weeks have been a bloodbath of anguish, fear, and trauma. I'm guessing some of you have been experiencing the exact same thing...

Dementia Exiled: Part 1 - Escape

https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/dementia-exiled-part-1

Dementia Exiled: Part 2 - Shelter from the storm without. No shelter from the storm within.

https://www.stumpedtowndementia.com/post/dementia-exiled-part-2

Quilting brings calm

Quite the stressful week.  As if dementia isn’t stressful enough on its own. I hope the hospital stay turned out well.

Sunshine days

Oh my goodness, Lickety! 

That is utter insanity....God bless you that you can keep such a wonderful sense of humor

even when the bottom drops out. Thank you for sharing. I hope they can " fix your mama up" ok....how do they treat a broken hip without surgery?! Please do keep us posted.

Prayers for you all.

M1

Lickety you really know how to structure a cliffhanger. This sounds really bad .....

BassetHoundAnn

Holy cow, Lickety! What a story! I can't believe all that you and your mum have been through and yet you keep your sense of humor and your sensibly well-grounded perspective. 

Love that P.S....remember to tell friend before using her house if anyone is actively dying...

A fractured hip...holy cow, how are you and your mom going to handle that? I wait with bated breath for the next installment. 

The best to you both! 

star26

OMG Lickety. I can not believe all that you have gone through. You're amazing. I'm waiting for the 3rd installment with my fingers crossed.

RobOT

The fun just never stops, does it?  We live in a wild fire zone in Southern California, and every time I smell smoke (after I get my blood pressure back down)  I start piling the car with Dad's stuff.  

Beachfan

Yikes, Lickety!

I am still reeling from reading your post(s).  Your mom is so lucky to have you at the helm.  A lesser person might have bailed.  I hope everything works out okay for all involved.  My mom broke her hip at age 96 or so and did not require surgery.  Instead, she spent a few days in the hospital and then 30 days in rehab.  If your mom could tolerate rehab and the facility could manage her well, what a wonderful respite it would be for you!  After your wild ride, you deserve break.  Good luck!

harshedbuzz

Gosh.

I am so sorry.

LicketyGlitz

I am writing the next installment as quick as I can while I try and wrap my brain around the new normal! Thank you all for your kindness and support. I am starting to get ahead of the fallout and at least start participating in the forum again.

lickety

p.s. Beachfan, "bailing"? Wait, is that an option? Why didn't anyone tell me that years ago!?

zauberflote

Lickety, your family will never be accused of doing things half-way. I do not see how you haven't just lain down in the ice and let nature take you. You have done gracefully things I could never do any way at all! Somewhere in there you used the word "failed". My dear woman, you failed at nothing! 

Mom sheared her hip (living in MC) at almost 92. She was not as deeply into the mental aspects of dementia as LicketyMom, but having 20 or 30 years on your mom, was considerably less agile and energetic. Our choices were a "near guaranteed failed" pin in hip, which might never heal properly, a guaranteed fail of doing nothing, which would have her bedbound and in pain (or lots of hospice morphine) for the rest of her life, or a guaranteed success of partial hip replacement, provided she survived the rigors of surgery. Much agonizing of family, hospice, and surgeon ensued, by which point she was sleeping in lala land. We chose replacement (I've had two and knew that the surgery itself would be successful and a relatively smooth recovery), and were prepared for the worst from the OR. She sailed through it, had a rough and deliriated  week in the hospital, was discharged right back to MC on comfort care. I found a mobile self-pay PT, who was allowed by both hospice and MC on grounds of I was paying for it, and she did walk again. Sadly, she fell again, was put in a wheelchair, and declined rapidly for the last few months of her life. But I would do it again for her. She never woke up from the one afternoon until after surgery, so had no pain then. Nor much post-op either. Hips are way better than,say, knees. 

I know that whatever happens here, your choice will be the right one for your family. And God Bless that wonderful BitB!!!

StayCalm

 Wow Lickety!

Taking care of a PWD is enough of a challenge itself.  But when you add Freezing Cold, Snow, Falling Trees, Dangerous Roads, No Power and More No Power then top it off with a Broken Hip, you are a super star Daughter with a tremendous amount of endurance and patience.  I think that I would have Crumbled when they said ”Broken Hip”.  While reading your humorous parts, I was laughing so, and this is the first time that I have laughed in over two years.  Thank you for your wonderful sense of humor sharing with your writing.   God Bless you for your dedication

ladyzetta

Hi Lickety,

I hope things have settled down a bit for you. How is your Mom doing?  Hugs Zetta 

Suziesb

Hi Lickety,

I saw from your latest post I follow that your mom is home on Hospice.  {{{LG}}}

It was a year ago that my mother was on hospice as well and she passed April 9th. 

When you said you and your sister told her your dad was waiting for her.....I'm sure she needed to hear that. It's so f'n hard either way, I know, I know....the caregiving road and then letting them go. You have done the most phenomenal job. Always remember that. There will also be moments when you think you coulda-shoulda-would've done this or that, NO- we do the best we can for our loved ones. The best we can.  And you HAVE.

I hope in these hours or days you will have peace and comfort with the support of your team and hospice.  On what I was pretty sure was my mom's last evening (and it was) I lit a really nice candle in her room,  had music she liked that my dad sang.  

I'm thinking of you, LG, with much caring from across the miles. 

Suzie