Wedding Anniversary

Bholmes

On Tuesday March 2, 2021 it would of have been our 19th year wedding anniversary. My Lydia was the prettiest bride in the world. I was a very lucky man. My DW Lydia has been gone a little over 4 months - I miss her every second, of every minute, of every day. 

I still work, and beginning to do some household things that I put off. 

I went to the doctor's and need to go back again. I hate doctors - so uncaring, so sterile. Wait 1 hour in waiting room past appointment time, wait 30 minutes in room, Then he comes in apologizes for running late and I talk to him for 5 minutes and says we need an x-ray and he is gone.

Work still is hard as I have no motivation. 

I am beginning to make plans slowly to sell my house - it will be  8 to 18 months away depending on things being fixed or not fixed. I am hoping to maximize the most I can get out of it as the more I get the sooner I will be able to retire. I am planning to downsize and more importantly live in a cheaper place in the US. 

One thing this disease has taught me - is a good happy healthy life is not guaranteed - my wife went away too early and now I just go on step-by-step. I need to get on with life before I go away.

ChrisBme

I so feel where you are coming from!  I feel the same way about my DW! Coming up on what would of been our 47th anniversary. Lost my DW to this horrid disease almost three months ago and my heart doesn't quit aching for her! I have been contemplating selling the dream house that we had built for our retirement but it feels that I would be selling part of her. I've been busy cleaning up the yard (weather permitting) that had been so neglected during my stint as caregiver . As it's starting to come around, it makes that selling decision even harder. I am so thrown as to what direction my life is going to go as I'm sure you are. Some days I want to continue to look for that new direction and others I just want to join her. Hopefully we all will figure a way to get on with life as hard as it's going to be. Take care and know I hurt with you!