Well I got one question answered

M1

Joining this forum last summer helped me realize that we needed to get on the stick about updating our legal documents. Mine needed to be changed because she can no longer function as my poa or executor, and hers needed updating because of changes in family circumstances-and because she had invalidated her previous will by making unsigned and undated handwritten changes on the original documents.

Getting mine done was relatively easy and was done without her input or knowledge. Getting hers done was like pulling teeth, she wanted input from our accountant (who is very trustworthy), and we got the final signing done about a month ago. However, there was one  contingency provision she wasn't happy with, so she wanted to make a further change-this was only a secondary clause regarding who inherits if I should not survive her. We thought we had it all settled (after yet another meeting with the accountant), but when I took her in for the final signing last week, the attorney came out and told me she couldn't proceed in good conscience, my partner was too confused. I didn't disagree. I guess that really settles the competency question and not in a good way. We decided to leave well enough alone and not try to make any further changes. She hasn't mentioned it further and I suspect she has already forgotten about it. I took the originals and put them away where she won't write on them inadvertently.

Ed1937

M1, I'm sorry things worked out that way. But this should be a valuable thread to those who are still on the fence about when to seek legal advice concerning their LOs with dementia. The best advice is to get it done ASAP. We don't know what tomorrow will bring.

White Crane

M1, I'm sorry things didn't work out the way you had hoped but, as you said, you got the competency question answered.  We got our wills and POAs taken care of several years ago, before DH was diagnosed.  Since then, I have changed my POA to one of my sons and taken DH name off.  DH does not know about this but it needed to be done.  I'm glad you were able to get done what you did and now have the papers put away.