Hi! I'm new here.

Treehugger

While my mother doesn't have a formal diagnosis, she has mild cognitive impairment, severe hearing loss even with hearing aids, and delayed processing of information coming into her brain. The audiologist said that she hears about 50% of what's said to her. I literally say everything four times before she gets it and then it's STOP YELLING AT ME. 

She moved in with me a year and a half ago after my dad died, so the timing was pretty bad because of covid. We're isolated and mostly housebound, though she is now vaccinated and I'm halfway there, too. So things will be easing up a little in the next little while. 

My mother lived a penny-pinching and very narrow life with my dad, but he left her well taken care of, and our PLAN was that we would travel and I pledged to do something fun with her every day. Covid is the monkey wrench in our plan for several reasons. 

I forgot to say she is 96, and in remarkably good shape. I'm 70 and trying to be. My brother lives in Florida and is not really involved, though he and his wife keep in touch. He has visited twice in a year and a half. My sister in law has never been to my home and I've lived here since 2010.

I am trying to educate myself about dementia; even though I'm a nurse (retired now, because it seemed mom needed me often throughout the day) (she will deny that). I kind of know what to expect in the later stages, but have a lot to learn about this phase. I'm reaching out to this group because I feel very alone and in need of both support and information. My friends are extremely supportive and encourage me to vent ad lib, but I don't want to wear them out. So thanks in advance. 

aod326

Welcome Tree Hugger! You're certainly in the right place, even though I'm sure none of us would choose to be here. One of the hardest things about dementia is that it takes away the future life you were anticipating, but I hope you'll be able to travel a little. 

Good luck on this journey with your mother!

Treehugger

Thank you so much!

Chloe123

Hi, I love your name “treehugger”.  I am one too.  My husband has early Alzheimer’s.  I have the same worry about worrying about my wearing out my friends.  I also wanted to travel but that would not be enjoyable right now.   I wonder if there might be some kind of group travel for caregivers and early Alzheimer’s patients.

RobOT

Treehugger, boy, do I hear you about the hear/processing thing.  The pre-dinnertime routine between my dad and me goes like this: Somebody on TV says something.  Dad says "Who what where?"  I repeat what was said, facing him and speaking slowly and loudly."  "Huh?"  I do it again.  Dad, shaking his head: "Huh?"  I repeat.  Dad:  "What?"  I try saying it again, more simply, cursing myself for not doing this in the first place.  Dad: "I don't get it."  I go back to the kitchen.  Dad, shouting and waving me off in disgust: "Whatever!"  I walk out onto the front porch, hissing obscenities.  My neighbor, who's walking down his driveway, rushes back to his house to tell his partner what I said this time.  I'm not sure how to stop this particularly evil little cycle, but it's a good thing I'm past childbearing, because it might have made its way into my DNA by now.

M1

Same at our house too.  And treehugger made me laugh--that's my son in spades.  Welcome--

sjplegacy

There are many resources that can help you become educated about dementia and its causes. Various websites, videos and books are a good source. On YouTube, search for “Teepa Snow” and “dementia careblazers”. Websites like alz.org, dementia.org, webmd.com and mayoclinic.org are all great sites. Excellent books are “Surviving Alzheimer's”, “The 36 Hour day”, “Learning to Speak Alzheimer's”, “Hope for the Caregiver” and many more. Though Alzheimer's is in the title, many of these books address all the dementias. Knowledge is power so learn as much as you can. If you're interested, Google “FAST scale” to see the various stages of dementia.