1st post - advice re doctor appointment

PIXIEPOP

Hello everyone.  This is my first post, but I have been reading these discussion boards for several years, and have learned so much about dementia.  I feel like I know you all.  I found the site in 2016 when my dad was in late stage 7 alzheimers and my stepmom had to place him in memory care.  I'll say right up front that I was not at all involved in his care.   Another story for another other time.

My 75 year old stepmom has not been formally diagnosed, but has no short term memory and is slowly losing her abilities to handle finances, and  make smart decisions.  She lives alone, and I will be the one who will be responsible for her care.  She lives an hour away from me.  Last month I was finally able to convince  her not to drive any more and I donated her car to a charity.    There is a trust, financial and medical DPOA and HIPPA release designating me.  She has a doctor appointment scheduled soon with her primary physician and I want to go with her and be in the exam room with her and the doctor.   I will email the doctor ahead of time with a list of my concerns.      My main priority is getting the doctor to document her memory issues and possibly refer her to a neurologist.  She has long term care insurance and I believe they will require doctor's letters.  She doesn't yet know that I want to go with her, or that I even know the appointment has been made.  But the closer the appointment gets, the less I know what I should say to her to get her to (hopefully happily) agree for me to go with her.  

I would welcome any suggestions.  

Thanks.  

M1

Pixie you're doing exactly the right thing.  I you have HIPPA rights and health care POA, send that to the doctor too ahead of time, along with your specific concerns, and I would tell them that you need something in writing for the long-term care insurance, that way they'll be fully prepared before you get there.  Even if you don't have HIPPA rights, you can always communicate with them, even if they can't fully respond.

Regarding getting her there, you can tell her they called and want to see her, or that an exam is required for Medicare in order not to lose coverage-that seems to be a frequent strategy.  I'm sure others will have suggestions too.  Good luck.  Sounds like a lot is already in place and hopefully that will help.  Keep us posted

Quilting brings calm

Pixie... since your name is on the forms, your stepMom knows( or knew ) that you would somehow be involved with her care. Use M1s suggestions to explain how you know about the appointment and tell her that you want to be there so that you understand what the doctors say and so that you can have her tell you her wishes so that you can make decisions LATER. 

I don’t know if mentioning your Dad would  help or if it would hurt since I don’t know any specifics. But if it would help let her know how grateful you are for her care of your Dad and  how it was his wish that you be there for her the rest of her life.