Refusing to shower

Miss Marcy

I need some ideas on how to get my LO to shower. I've made the shower too steamy and got accused of stealing her oxygen, to cold and she won't undress, she told me I wanted her to break a hip, (there is a chair in the shower). It has been a month since last shower and I need fresh ideas please! Thank you.

M1

Is a home health aide a possibility? Might be worth it once a week. Or an outside family member, if you can find one willing and able..I'm sure it's frustrating.

harshedbuzz

Teepa Snow has some videos about how to accomplish showers.

Check them out on You Tube.

JDancer

I don't know if you have a tub- we have a large, jetted tub, so tis worked for me.

We have "spa days". I make a big deal about it-talk it up for days. then I prepare a nice hot, bubbly bath.  Scrub his back. Afterwards, it's mani/pedi time. This works for now, but I'll need something else when the weather heats up and he needs more frequent bathing and/or when his condition deteriorates.

MN Chickadee

The key may lie in learning communication techniques. Modesty, relationship boundaries being crossed, sensory inputs are at play. My mother actually responded much better to help from hired aides than family with bathing but hopefully you can get to a point of assisting yourself.  Each person may require a different approach.  If she was the type of lady who used to get her hair done at the salon, perhaps you'll find she will let you shampoo the hair in the sink. Some find bribing works (lets get washed up and then I have some special ice cream for you etc) or saying let's get washed up before we go to the restaurant. A certain time of day may be better. If you fail now try again later.  Let her wear  a swim suit, t-shirt, or drape towels and let them get wet, since modesty can be a issue. It doesn't need to be a perfect bath or shower, anything is better than nothing in the beginning. Keeping a calm soothing tone. She will pick up anxiety and frustration by you so you have to just be even and go with the flow. Be prepared with everything you need ahead of time, making sure you are the uncomfortable one (you should be hot, not her being cold.) Call it a spa day, we're going to spoil ourselves. A girls day in, maybe you bought some special spa stuff. Once you get a few showers under your belt it may become more routine for her. 

There are some good resources out there to help you find techniques that may help. Here are a few:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl3Dc1kERto

https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/bathing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKT9YIVPREE

Miss Marcy

Thank you all for great ideas, videos and tips. I feel less alone!

sunnydove

You can try changing the time of day. I used to have Mom bathe at night. It was always a huge ordeal and upsetting for all. Now I have her do it in the morning. While it's still not a fun activity, it's far more doable. Plus I can promise a yummy breakfast after. 

Good hygiene is important. If you have to offer a bowl of ice cream or other special treat to motivate your LO, it's worth it. 

LicketyGlitz

You are def not alone, Miss Marcy! Personal hygiene becomes the bane of every caregiver's existence.

This Teepa Snow video helped us have easier showers (not easy... easier) with the portable heater tip being the absolute best suggestion of the bunch!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iKT9YIVPREE

After we started getting a little better with showering our mom I made a video of our tips that maybe helpful to you.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FBGJEaO9AsA&t=1s

Sherry CO

I bought dry shampoo & bath soap. They’re both liquid, but no water required. I found it easier to put the shampoo in a spray bottle. I massage moms head & it feels good to her. She needs help in the bathroom so while she is sitting, I take that opportunity to take off her pj & panties and put on new. I do it so quickly, she doesn’t really know what I’m doing. When she’s done, I’ll have a warm wash cloth with the soap on it ready. Before we pull her pants up, I’ll wipe her then use the wash cloth. I will wash her top at another time. And her hair. Spread it out so she’s not overwhelmed.