Thanks to all for being here

A. Marie

I'm a fairly new poster, but I've been lurking here for some time now. I just want to tell you all that this forum is a lifeline for me. I've found better advice here than professionals have provided on many topics. 

I don't place as much confidence in the seven-stage rating system for dementia as many do, but on a scale from mild to moderate to severe, my DH (age almost 72, formally diagnosed in 2018 but showing symptoms since 2011) is moving into severe. I have home care aides coming in four mornings a week now, and I'm starting the process of trying to get him wait-listed for skilled nursing care. (I just had the NY State Personal Review Instrument completed on him, and he no longer qualifies for assisted living.)

And perhaps the smartest financial decision DH and I ever made was to take out long-term care insurance back when we both were relatively young and healthy. (Our mothers died within a few years of each other, both of dementia--and although my MIL started out with a bigger pot of money, she ended up with a lot less, because my mother had LTCI and my MIL didn't.) I know that LTCI isn't possible for a lot of folks. But it has given me a lot more flexibility in deciding what to do now than I would ever have had otherwise.

Ed1937

A, it's great that you have LTCI. Most people wouldn't give much consideration to that when they're young and in good health. I agree that professionals don't have the advice to give, for the most part. The forums are a great place to learn and teach others. Keep posting!

Bevy

We both got Long Term Care insurance in our fifties. His family has a lot of Alzheimer's disease. I had to put him into memory care about four years ago. That insurance is truly a blessing.

Marie58

A. Marie, I agree that this forum is a lifesaver. My DH was diagnosed almost 5 years ago. Neither one of us had any experience with dementia and knew very little about it. I thought it was just a memory thing, so it was a steep learning curve for me!! I also have learned more here than from any where else. Nothing like learning from those in the trenches!!

Thanks everyone!

amicrazytoo

I concur! This forum has been a lifesaver for me. I truly appreciate everyone's stories and advice. Some I may agree with, some I may not, but the solidarity of sharing this horrendous disease brings us all to the same level. We are not alone.

aod326

I agree! I don't know how/if I would have coped, without this message board! I've learned so many coping strategies and the "solidarity" is sanity-saving. Or at least I've lost a little less sanity than I would have otherwise...

Crushed

One caveat on long term care insurance.  Almost all polices sold today and over the last 10 years have total benefit caps under $400,000.   some are as low as $200,000

When I analyzed our situation in 2002, years before DW developed dementia, it was clear to me that LTC as it was structured  was not a rational  purchase for us , given our pensions and financial structure.  This was  due to the benefit caps.   What we needed was DISASTER insurance e.g. uncapped lifetime LTC insurance with a  $250,000 deductible, but nobody sold such insurance.