Not sleeping at night. What to do?

Sergey

I would appreciate an advice,

My grandma has Alzheimers for more than 4 years already and doesn't walk. She wakes up in the middle of the night probably every 3 nights. She sits up and does nothing. It is dark in the room so she stares in the dark. I see it all on the camera that can see in the dark. So, I call help that I hired, the woman goes and helps to put her to bed. But sometimes my grandma stands up again later that night (sometimes in 10 minutes) and everything is all over again. I asked her once how is she doing and made conclusion that my grandma is absolutely lost, has no idea where she is or what is happening. Without help, my grandma cannot go to bed by herself and will fall asleep sitting.

The problem here of course is that I cannot sit in front of the camera every night watching her. It is exactly what I do every night lately since I learned about it and it just takes attention from my work. Women I hired are understanding about it for now, but I don't think it can last. They work 24h 10 day shifts and waking them up in the middle of the night (sometimes twice a night) is hard. I live in a different time zone and there is no such thing as MC in my home country and I am not giving her away to a senior living facility because they will definitely neglect her and I cannot travel there often.

What do I do about it? Any thoughts or experiences? Thank you.

Cynbar

If this keeps up, you may have to hire an additional overnight caregiver so the regular 24 hr caregiver can sleep. I have known a couple of families that have had to do this. More expense, of course, but it does make it possible for the person to remain at home.

LaurenB

Can your loved one get more stimulation during the day so that they are more likely to sleep at night?  Additionally, how does your LO feel about being up at night?  Are they bored or do they have no memory of it.  It is possible that their staying up at night and sitting still is ok with them, but more of a bother to you.  If they are bored, then how about the overnight sitter stays in the room with them and can be engaging at night when LO is awake in stead of you noticing it and alerting them to it?  You mentioned that grandma is lost when she wakes up.  Maybe it would be more comforting for her to sleep with some soft light on.  That way when she wakes up she can see her surroundings.

mommyandme (m&m)

When my mother is wakeful at night, I put some calming music on so she can at least listen to something. She will usually go in and out of sleep and I can still get some rest.

Sergey

Thanks everyone. Lessons I will try:

* Try to leave soft light overnight so if she wakes up she is not confused

* I will think about the music. Great idea but someone has to turn it on when she wakes up

I have no financial strength to hire another caregiver. 

Luv Power

Hi Sergey ~

This also was a big issue for me caring for my mother.   I'll tell you what I did when she was getting up 3-4 times a night (needed help to go to the bathroom) a year+ ago when I had overnight caregivers and what I did when it was just me caring for her 24/7 since COVID and she became much more active like your grandmother.  

Prior to moving Mom into my house, I had overnight caregivers at her house.  Back then, Mom was only waking up 3-4 times a night, mostly to pee.  I set the caregivers up with a SafeWander Alert system that sent a (very loud audible) alarm to their cellphone or tablet whenever Mom sat up in bed.  The caregivers also had an audio baby monitor and a video baby monitor so they could monitor her activities during the night.  To give me peace of mind that the caregivers were getting up and attending to Mom's needs when needed, I had Nest cameras set up that would send alerts to my cellphone whenever there was motion or sound in her bedroom.  I didn't always wake up to the Nest alerts when caregivers were on duty, but since I was paying the overnight caregivers to attend to her needs, I didn't feel it was my responsibility to wake up.  Nest cameras come with 5 day or 10 day video history, so I could always wake up in the morning and check the video to see if the caregivers were doing their job.

After moving Mom in with me last March due to COVID concerns, I continued to use the SafeWander system to wake me up.  However, late last summer, she started propping up in bed, down, up, down so often that I had to turn all the alarms off or I would never get any sleep until after midnight (the magic hour for her to fall asleep).  If I laid her back down, she was back up 10 -20 minutes later.  This was happening every 3rd day or so ~ same as your grandma.  And the crazy part was that if Mom sat all the way up in bed, she did the same thing your grandmother does ~she just sat there on the edge of the bed, fidgeting with the bedding and staring into the darkness, with nary a peep or call for help out of her.  Then the nighttime activity progressed to EVERY night.  Oh dear!  I was so sleep deprived!  Me putting her back to bed, only to wake up in the middle of the night to discover that she was sitting up again.  Crazy!

The magic elixir for me has been Melatonin given 2 hours before bedtime.  I started with 3mg and when that dose stopped being effective, I stopped then restarted 2 weeks later  on 6mg per her doctor's recommendation.  Mom has been sleeping soundly all night since then.

Please check with her physician first before giving any OTC remedy.  Since she is older and has Alzheimer's, some OTC products are not recommended.

I hope you find the perfect tools and/or aids to help wake your caregivers during the night or some type of relief to allow your grandmother to sleep well during the night so that you can too!  

mariawotters

My neighbor also had insomnia. She sometimes asked me for help around the house. So I was happy to help her with insomnia. On https://www.canadapharmacy.com/ I read about various good ways to fight insomnia. I bought her herbal medicine after which she should sleep better. We started eating more fruits and vegetables, trying to spend time actively and ventilate the room often. Her sleep has improved and it's great!