Stifled Feelings

MA Taloff

Hi,

I've just joined and this is my first post.

I'm the husband of a woman with EO, diagnosed in August.  I feel like I can't share any of my inner feelings with her unless they are totally benign.  This is really causing me to bunch up inside.  I feel like I've lost my partner and confidant who I can tell things to.  I feel like I'm out here all alone with this and not sure what I can or should say anymore.  Like I have to go into a different place with her now.  Very sad and confused.

MT

RanchersWife

I’m so sorry you’re on this journey. We all understand what you’re feeling. EO is extra hard. There is a spouse forum too that is very helpful.

M1

Welcome MA.  Yes, you do lose your partner/spouse, and it hurts terribly.  Mine is not EO but all of us in this boat do empathize.  This forum can help a lot because the folks here understand.  It is a terrible dilemma to lose your most precious natural support before you actually physically lose them.  But you ARE doing the right thing to bring your feelings somewhere else.  It felt to me like betrayal at first, but I realize now it is not.  She would want me to have this support.  She used to provide it, in spades, but now she can't.  

There is both an EO forum and a spousal forum and all are welcome on any of them...do read a lot of threads, it will help.  Many wise folks here with experience that can help you prepare and get through this.  Good luck.

aod326

Sadly, so many people here totally understand what you're saying. My DH is also EO - unspecified dementia, currently close to end-of-life, age 60. I found the first year or so by far the hardest, not least because the one person I wanted most to talk to about this crazy situation was him! But, dementia being as it is, he didn't recognize his challenges.

The terribly sad thing is that you *have* lost your partner and confidant. She is physically with you, and hopefully still has lots of abilities, but the person you share your life with has now morphed into someone that just looks and sounds like her. I learned so much from these message boards that helped me handle the situations. Even more than that, though, realizing that I wasn't alone was hugely reassuring. 

I hope you come back often - it can really help, even on this days when you just need to vent.

Good luck.

MA Taloff

Many thanks. I will look for all the help I can get.
MT

Arrowhead

My wife was diagnosed in July 2016 at 61 years. As you talk to people you know about your wife's condition, you may be surprised at how many of them have had some degree of exposure to it. You may find someone you can talk to about it. If not, these forums can be a great help.