How do you Celebrate

Potsie

Yesterday my oldest son was welcomed as the fulltime First Fire Chief in a growing city. How do you celebrate and be happy at the same time?? My DH served on a voluntary fire department for twenty years prior to his diagnosis. Our oldest son joined the department before DH retired from it. Our youngest son joined shortly thereafter. Both are now on the same fulltime fire department. It is so awesome to see them both coming into their own as firefighter/first responders and now one of them a Chief. I am so proud of them and I feel so much pain at the same time. Their Dad has encouraged them throughout and now has no understanding of what is going on. I am happy and sad. I have a lump in my throat and want to hug the boys and hug DH for the examples he has shown. So Bittersweet.

Ed1937

Your emotions are understandable. I think you are now celebrating the situation, but you feel sorry that your husband can't understand everything. Just give him a kiss, tell him you love him, and that he did a great job with his sons. Even if he doesn't comprehend what you're saying, it will help you feel a little better knowing you told him that.

Jeff86

Congrats on your son’s appointment as Chief.  That’s a great accomplishment.

Your DH’s inability to understand and appreciate your sons’ successes is indeed a source of great sadness.  That said, your DH was clearly an inspiration and a profoundly positive influence on your sons.  He has given them a lasting legacy.

That’s hugely celebration-worthy!

LadyTexan

What a testament your children are to the wonderful role model and inspiration your husband has been. It also is a testament to you and the wonderful job you have done raising them.

I understand you are sad. I can only imagine how heart breaking this must be. I don't have children. 

I think I would celebrate! Your children's successes are something to be recognized and to embrace. There's no telling what is going on in your DH's brain right now, but a celebration (possibly toned down to avoid overstimulation) might be a good thing for your DH. Maybe an intimate family dinner. It would be a good opportunity for your sons to verbalize out loud or in writing, what a gift and inspiration you and your DH have been to them.

Your family sounds amazing. Embrace the joy. 

I know the sadness is real, but so is the joy in a job well done.

Potsie

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. When I was with DH today I pulled up Facebook on his computer, I showed him the link with my son's picture and write up about him as Fire Chief. I am sure he recognized him. He started smiling as soon as he saw it. It was rewarding to see.

Ed1937

Potsie, that's a big win. Good for you!

LadyTexan

That is beautiful Potsie. Thank you for sharing.

anneleigh

Thank you for sharing!  It is a wonderful accomplishment and glad you are celebrating.  Nice your DH could smile~

Nowhere

What an accomplishment and loving tribute to your husband’s example and dedication. Hug them all, and yourself. Ying/yang.