just joined & trying to find connections

virginiat90

Hey everyone, my name is Virginia and I just joined this site. My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimers in 2017 and she has been through 2 different research and medication trials. Throughout her diagnosis and progression my dad was her partner in everything. But last year, my dad contracted Covid-19 and passed away. She currently lives at home with a family friend who has moved in since my dad's passing to help around the house. In the past few months my mom has been rapidly declining and I have assumed the role of her caretaker. I'm feeling very overwhelmed with information and decisions to be made. Plus my sister and I have differing opinions on what to do. I want to start looking into resources and more help but I don't know where to start. Any advice or encouragement is welcomed. Thank you.

Cynbar

Who is her decision maker, her durable power of attorney and health care proxy? That person is in charge of everything that will need to be done. It's nice if all involved family members can agree, but that doesn't always happen. It's not a democracy where everyone needs to be on the same page. 

As far as feeling overwhelmed, I think it's easier to face if you break it down into steps ----looking at the total picture can be exhausting. First and foremost, if you haven't done so, see a certified elder law attorney and make sure all necessary documents are in place. Then get a good idea of her finances, that will dictate how to access care. You don't say what help you are looking for, or if you even know that. A private geriatric case manager would be helpful in showing you your options. If not, your local senior center can be a resource for private care agencies or day care centers, as well as other local info. Good luck, and ask any specific questions here, you'll get some good input.

ResaAnn

Hi. I am in a similar situation.  We moved my mom in to our house 3 years ago. I have POA and  I am primary caregiver.  I do run decisions by my brother and sister but I have final say. For the most part we agree but it can be difficult when we don’t.  My mom has gotten physically worse in the past year.   I only hired a home healthcare worker in the past month because I couldn’t handle it by myself anymore.  I still work full time and have two kids.  Ultimately I needed to make decisions to keep my mom safe and balance my family life regardless of what my siblings suggest.

virginiat90

Thank you for all the input! I really appreciate it

abc123

Hello & Welcome Virginia, 

I am sorry for the loss of your Dad and your Mom’s diagnosis.  Alzconnected  has an 800 number. You can ask to speak to a care counselor,  these people are certified and their services are free of charge. The number is 800-272-3900. They should be able to give you excellent advice and guidance. Good luck!