Night Games

riajean

New experience and not every night.  Anywhere from 2:30 to 4 AM, my DH wakes and reaches over to the night stand to put on his glasses.  I wake, too, asking him to take them off as it's time to sleep.  Last night was the worst.  He said "No I won't".  I told him it was time to sleep and he didn't need them.  He said, "these are mine, not yours".  I repeated what I said.  "No", he said, these are my glasses.  I told him "I don't want your glasses but it's time for sleep.  You can wear your glasses in the day time".  He huffed and puffed and then did take them off and called me a PIA.  "Yeah", I replied, "you are", and he said "you are".

He tried to sleep but was breathing very hard for about a half hour.  Kept me awake.  Finally we both were asleep but I was very bothered.

I've taken them off the night stand before and he will still look for them, exasperated that they are "missing", waking me, telling me he can't find them.

Is there no end to this?  I'm so tired. He wakes with a smile, no recollection of the early morning games and I don't even want to look at him anymore.  He can't shave.  Can't see to do it right.  I've trimmed his mustache, but that's it.  He forgets to shower and looks ragged.  Not my husband.  Mine would never look like he does now.

Oines51

My husband is not waking at night yet, but has started getting agitated in the evenings. Pacing, picking at his cloths, picking at a colorless mole on his face until it bleeds. I have to groom his face and nails. He hates it and acts like a bit of a baby. He was the toughest man I know and would be disgusted with the way he acts now. So needy, follows me around the house and outside. He is not the man I married. He has told me to F*** off, called me a piec of S***. He would have never done this before.  And I just think, I am the person who dresses you, feeds you, gives you your meds, grooms you and this is how I get treated???He is 55 and I am 53.He was diagnosed 3 1/2 years ago.We have 3 children ages 24,21, and 17. He was a very busy internal medicine physician for the 22 yrs before his diagnosis. Some days this is my reality and some days I still think how did this happen to us?

Battlebuddy

    Thank you two for posting. I really needed to hear your words. I’m exactly where you guys are right now- grooming and hygiene is such a struggle. And the first conversation above at night is one I’m having daily. But my husband wants to wear two glasses at the same time or no glasses at all. He can’t understand and says I’ve been wearing glasses for years. Leave me alone!!

  This is not my husband. He was so easy going. And we never fought about anything. He looks so disheveled . And right now has  half a mustache but won’t let me fix it. Sigh. But at least I’m not alone and you guys get it. Thanks

Crushed

I've been on this road 11 years.   This disease robs people of memory, reason and rational thought.  Pretending that they are NORMAL  people with a small problem will make you CRAZY. 

They are deeply affected by this disease and it only gets worse.

 Here is the drill . 
1) Get a cat.  Get a shirt  now convince the cat to put on the shirt. Try to avoid the claws

 2) Get a rock.  now convince the rock to put on the  shirt.  Be thankful that the rock has no claws. 

  Repeat until you understand you are wasting your time and you have just as much success with the cat as the rock. .  

riajean

Guys, this is rough and though every inch of my being wants to hand him over to memory care, I fight myself thinking I can do this when mostly I don’t want to.  Helped him shave yesterday. We did ok as a team and I thought ok we’re still that team.  Help me to stay patient, forgiving, loving knowing my DH would never want me to be in this position.  I love him despite the disease.  Hard to watch the decline and oftentimes I break and sob.  He’s still here and some fights aren’t worth it.   We just wade through each day and hope and pray for the guidance to do what’s best.  

caberr

My husband has been waking up during the night and saying "good morning" to me or just starts talking about I don't know what.  The other night he said something about Mars.  I told him I really don't care about Mars right now go back to sleep.  He's had Mars on the brain since the rover landed weeks ago.  

janeymack

Do you have a second bedroom? I'd be asleep in there and miss the entire eyeglasses routine.

Miss Ripper

It saddens me to say I can relate to every single post above, except my husband's fetish isn't his glasses. It's his old police leather jacket that he calls his cycle jacket. I wish I had the answers to all of this, but Crush's post seems to be on the money. If it helps to know someone else is going through the same torture, then I'm there with you. Too bad we can't all get together and have lunch or a drink.

DWck

It’s funny (well not THAT funny), their obsession with eye glasses.  I took DH for an eye exam several months and he needed new glasses. He previously wore progressive lenses. In my infinite, and often questionable wisdom, I decided that it would be better for him to have two pair of single lens glasses made. One for the kitchen table so he could read (stare at) the morning paper and another pair for distance so he could watch (stare at) TV. Well, this has surely backfired. He constantly mixes them up, gets cranky and I get frustrated trying to explain. Suppose he will have to go back to the progressive lenses. Oddly enough, he seems to prefer his non prescription sunglasses most of the time!!!

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HSW

Before the time change my DH was getting up around 4 am with his coffee cup. My son is an all night gamer and would wake me as I sleep on the couch. After several weeks he slept to a more reasonable time and I was able to get up before him. He has been staying up later too just past full dark.