Advice needed(7)

Mlent2021

Hi,

My mom was diagnosed two years ago, although I feel like I saw slight shifts to personality and memory years ago. It’s easy to chalk it up to old age although she’s only now 74. My dad was the primary caregiver but he died unexpectedly last June. We moved my mom across country to be close to us. Rough couple of months but after that she’d been great, besides just not remembering. She’d been able to go out with us to restaurants, have an occasional tiny glass of wine, have conversation although couldn’t remember anything.

Fast forward to two weeks ago...delusions, sleeping all day, refusal to take meds, paranoia. We tried to take her for coffee yesterday  and she couldn’t keep her eyes open. Stopped by today to help with pills and she thinks the caretakers are trying to kill her. She slept all day today and it’s just so different than two weeks ago when she was friendly, ready to have fun, albeit forgetful.

Three nights ago we ended up in ER due to a fainting spell. She medically checked out completely fine. History of stroke and heart issues. The staff wants her on seroquel, which the doc recommended even based on her medical conditions.

Not sure what I’m looking for exactly but is a swift decline like this normal?? Like I mentioned, everything medically, physically checked out ok.

Thanks all!!

Marta

Since she checked out OK medically, I think you need to consider that this is her new “normal,” at the same time recognizing that it only gets worse. 

I am so sorry you lost your mom as you knew her. 

When you say staff, does that mean mom is in a facility?

Seroquel can be a tremendous help, despite the black box warning for use in elderly dementia patients. At a certain point, the benefits outweigh the risks, and quality of life issues trump the goal of prolonging life. 

Mlent2021

Thanks for your response. She’s in a small group home (5 rooms). I guess that’s what I was afraid of it being, her new normal. I had them start the seroquel last night and we will cross our fingers that it works.

MN Chickadee

If the ER has ruled out a UTI and other infection or physical causes (something like a UTI can send a PWD into a tailspin) then it may just be her new normal. I wouldn't say it's typical to decline so fast, but there is no one way to do dementia. Some people take years to take that kind of decline, for others it's a matter of  weeks or months. When I would visit my mother's memory care facility, if I missed a week there were times I would see a resident now looking comatose in a wheelchair when just a couple weeks before they had been running around the place and and finding mischief. I would try the medication in hopes it improves her quality of life. As the previous poster said, sometimes the risks are worth it. That class of drug when used as a last resort has been very helpful for some PWD and their caregivers. If she continues to sleep alot and doesn't improve you might find getting a hospice evaluation useful. If she has indeed fast forwarded in the progression then hospice can help make her comfortable and help you with decision making. Good luck and let us know how she does so we can also learn from you. Take care.