what should you say?

daisy_101

Hi there,

Sometime mom will say something strange. Should I just pretend I understand and agree with her? Or should I try to ask more questions to better understand what she is saying and correct her?

Because she just said I know you all think I am crazy. And I do not know what to response.

thanks. I am new to this.

ALZgranddaughter&POA

Check out Dementia Careblazers on youtube. She is a geropsychologist and has a lot of great tips.

Kath50

It sounds bad, but I either agree with my mom and say, oh ok or I change the subject. If I question what she says she gets flustered, confused and upset. It just makes her angry, which I try to avoid. My priority is keeping her calm.

sandwichone123

Hi Daisy,

Lots of times I'll sort of "uh-huh," but if there's emotion attached to it, I'll try to respond to the emotion, like "Oh wow!" or "oh no." Pretty noncommital, but a little more than nothing.

Mike79

I agree with my mom 95% of the time. Or I just 'acknowledge' if I can't agree. It's really hard to contradict. I pick my little battles very carefully. Only when it's really important. If what my mom's said is harmful or entirely inappropriate, or likely to lead in a bad direction, that's when I may try to carefully correct. But I need to be pretty creative and diplomatic about it. I think one's ability to do this depends on how far along the individual is as well. It's probably easier in the early stages, getting progressively harder and less worthwhile as the process continues.

KawKaw

Sometimes with my mother, I would say "Please tell me more."

This worked when I wasn't certain there she was oriented-- in the here and now or in her past.

It also helped me identify the emotion behind the comment when I wasn't sure.

Other times, I would look at her and smile.  Sometimes, I would say, I was just thinking about how much I love you.

If she was in distress, I sometimes met her where she was to manage it.

One delusion she had that caused a lot of distress including fury was when she believed that someone at the facility had stolen my mother's mother's wheelchair.

After I learned that logic was not helpful, I tried to distract or redirect.

That never worked for this delusion.

Finally, I asked my mother to be as generous as her mother had been and to allow the woman to use the wheelchair for a while.

This would work temporarily, until it came up again.

Variations would be to allow the woman to use the wheelchair until my mother's mother needed it again.  Which was never, bc she was long gone.

After a few months, this delusion became less of an issue and another one took its place.