1st time using disposable undies for DH

LadyTexan

Today is the first time that I dressed DH in disposable undies. In this case, it was the gray men's Depends I picked up several months ago.

DH did not say a word about it, nor did I. I am guessing he is currently unaware of the switch. I think making the switch was harder on me than on him. Possibly because it is a real example of how the disease continues to progress. I can do nothing to stop the progression. 

What I can do is care for DH to the best of my ability and ensure DH is safe and let DH know he is loved beyond words.

This disease sucks. You all are care giver heroes. 

Cynbar

We also have had good luck with the Depends that look like real underwear. DH had worn the white ones that really do look like diapers while in short term rehab, and he vowed he would never wear those again. But one day I just subbed the Depends for regular underwear and he bought it, no discussion. Thank goodness those are available.

chrisp1653

I guess in this respect, I was kind of lucky. Barbara was already in the grip if some urinary incontinence even when she was working and doing ok in all other respects, so the transition to the brown depends was made by her and not by me. Later on, she had to wear the big thick ugly ones, but by then we just called them her undies.

It's a little difficult to think that I was lucky in many respects over this disease, since most of the things that caused trouble for me never came all at once, but gradually, so that I was able to mentally master the way I would react to each new symptom. Of course, lucky is a relative word, since eventually her dementia , and Parkinson's, took Barbara away from me.

Still, we did have 38 years together, and I would not trade them for anything !

aod326

Lady Texan, I agree - something like this "milestone" is a punch in the gut for the caregiver. I'm usually pretty pragmatic when it comes to managing DH's limitations, but one that has recently got me is changing his underwear. (He is totally bed bound now and wears the "tab-style" underwear that looks like a diaper, but I hate that word in relation to adults!) I don't care about the yuck factor, it's that he doesn't have any reaction to the fact that I'm changing him that got to me for a while. Of course I don't want him to feel bad about it, but it's another reminder that "old Michael' has left the building. 

It totally sucks - I don't think there's any better way to describe it.  Remember that you have support here.

jtbaa

Lady Texan, such grace.