The light was on for a minute....

M1

She had a brief episode of clarity this afternoon after not recognizing two good friends on the phone. She,asked me if she was getting worse (yes), if other people knew ( oh yes), and whether this was a fatal disease. She cried, and said she was scared. We talked about living in the moment.  I told her I would never leave....for the first time, we were able to talk about getting help here at home.  She agreed to sell her car.   She thanked me...I felt like Orpheus looking at his Eurydice as she is snatched away.  Like Demi Moore dancing with Patrick Swayze in Ghost.  Saying goodbye.

LadyTexan

If I remember the scene of Ghost correctly, it was good bye but also, we will both be okay. I cried then, as I do now for you and your partner.

How wonderful to make a connection. How heartbreaking that it is temporary. This disease is so cruel. By living in the moment you were able to embrace the light while it was on.

Hugs to you my friend.

Ed1937

I'm glad you had a good moment with her, but I'm sorry this disease is such a roller coaster. If we could just keep the good moments...........

Crushed

DW was a physician.  The third neurologist finally made the call of Alzheimer's  in early  2012.  He never discussed it with her he just assumed the MCI in her records was an outdated diagnosis.  He just changed it to Alzheimers with a few keystrokes.

He told her Doctor to Doctor that she could not drive, that she had taken an oath not to hurt people.   She read the visit report saying Alzheimers in the parking lot.  I said "Dum Spiro Spero" while there is breath there is hope 

 She was 59. 

  

 

  

David J

M1, I’m glad you had a few minutes of light in the dark experience of dementia. Treasure that memory and hold on to the memory for when you need it.

piozam13

When I was caring for DH, I always assumed that his brain was functioning properly.  I could tell when he was  'off' when he talked to me - but I I wouldn't know unless he said something that didn't make sense.  

Does anyone know how much time they have  'on' as opposed to 'off'.

Jeff86

My heart goes out to you, M1.  

Sometimes I wonder what’s worse: anosognosia, or our LO’s awareness of his or her condition.

One day this week, my DW said to me that she thinks she’s getting old. I asked her why she thinks that and she said, “because I don’t remember things any more.”

You handled the situation beautifully, reassuring your partner that you would always be there for her.

That’s all we can do.  I am sorry this is so painful, for you and for all of us.

M1

It helps to tell those of you who understand.  It was very sweet, and I am very glad for it.  As Crushed has said, how lucky am I to have had such a love.  Much easier than handling it without such love, as others in this forum have had to do and are doing.  It's nice when you're doing it for better or for worse, to remember that there was indeed a better.

Crushed

piozam13 wrote:

When I was caring for DH, I always assumed that his brain was functioning properly.  I could tell when he was  'off' when he talked to me - but I I wouldn't know unless he said something that didn't make sense.  

Does anyone know how much time they have  'on' as opposed to 'off'.

By definition dementia is a decline in brain function .  so normal functioning is not in the cards.

 The brain is on a continuous downward slope from ON  to OFF.  Because brains have  massive redundancy There is a jagged generally downward stepwise progression   in observable interaction.   But  intervals of improved functioning are possible and are the mainstay of quack medical treatments.  The brain keeps fitting pieces together until ther is nothing left to fit.

 The  more "primitive" the brain function , the less brain activity is normally needed (primitive functions are those which evolved earliest and are common to more animals) In humans the primitive functions are concentrated in the brain stem and limbic systems.   More sophisticated functions are  in the much larger cortical areas.

Eyesight, senses and  Reproductive sex are fairly primitive,  language is very sophisticated and  a very few high level activities are distinctly human. 

The early effects of Alzheimers are overwhelmingly in the cortical brain.  language writing creativity memory go long before   breathing eating walking or sexual function. 

abc123

Dear M1, I happy that you had a precious few moments of clarity with your wife.

Joe C.

M1, I’m glad you were able to make that connection. It is difficult navigate this journey when you can not talk about it with your LO. I have seen those brief moments of clarity but they are fleeting.