Normal

Teresag56

Hi, good morning. Just needing some feedback or see if anyone else deals with your LO'S acting "normal" around certain people. My mom is 92 in good physical health. She is slowing down alot walking is getting more difficult. I would say she is in late mid stage Alzheimer's her short term memory is gone. She has a caregiver 4hrs a day 2 times a week...then it is just me and her. She lives with me has been with me since Jan.  anyway when the caregiver is here she talks and laughs works puzzles and just seems like the Alzheimer's goes away. But the minute the caregiver leaves and it is just us she shuts down ...it is so weird. The agency I use even called me and asked was I sure mom needed someone there with her. Yes she does she doesn't know where she is doesn't recall anything from 2 minutes cant be alone in house...she goes in rooms and goes thru things. So I was just wondering if anyone else goes thru this...thanks

towhee

Teresa, yes, this is common behavior with Alzheimers. You have two things going on. First, we are all try to put our best foot forward with guests but let our guard down with family and close friends. It is unconscious social behavior, not even deliberate. Second, in order to function well with the caregiver her brain has to work really hard and it tires her out, so what you are getting when the caregiver leaves is an exhausted mother. She has used up all the mental oomph she has for the day. This behavior is sometimes called "showtiming" and can be a real problem during doctor visits, because the doctor does not get a true picture of the patients condition. If your caregiver has experience with dementia they should be able to understand when you tell them this. 

If you haven't already, pick up The 36 Hour Day and read "Understanding the Dementia Experience" (available free online) Watching a Youtube video by Teepa Snow can also be helpful. 

abc123

Towhee pretty much covered it.

Teresag56

Thanks for the response...I have watched some if her videos..I read one book..not sure which one....this disease is terrible...it is very heartbreaking...

Kath50

I had relatives here recently and my mom put on quite the show, laughing, joking and talking more. It was quite the contrast of what we go through on a daily basis! My mom shows zero personality all day and if she says anything it’s a complaint. One relative said she seemed like her old self. I was shocked.

Teresag56

Yep my mom is like this. People say wow maybe she was miss diagnosed..she seems really bright and on top of things....well you come spend a good 10 minutes with her... my moms has no personal ty left...she will sit and just do nothing  for hours if you let her...