Holiday blues(2)

Jamaicabound

I am not having a good morning even though my DH is still peacefully sleeping.  Tomorrow is Easter and I know in my heart it will be the last one I ever have with him.  Even with the remote possibility of him still physically with us I envision him in a zombie like state lying in bed. He is very advanced but not yet bedridden.  Tomorrow we will have our usual Easter dinner with our three sons and do our annual egghunt even though they are all grown and Pop won't have a clue as to what we are doing.  They enjoy this with their Dad and I appreciate the memories they are trying to create. My sons are not married and we have no grandkids. This adds to the heaviness in my heart of things he will never get to see. Why does life give us such hardships? I know the saying "it gives us strength". I know I am not the only one feeling superhuman right now. I so long for the good old days and dream of the retirement we will never enjoy. 

I am not always this down.  There are still moments of joy in this dreadful disease. I often compare it to when I was pregnant - I wanted it to end but never wanted it to end as I loved being pregnant and when I find myself praying for a peaceful end to this nightmare I thank God in the morning that it didn't. I am just having "one of those days" and thank you all for letting me vent.

Wishing you all a calm, peaceful Easter as we all search for moments of joy in this journey. 

M1

you too JB.  Hope being with your sons is good in and of itself.

abc123

Happy Easter to you and your family! It sounds like you raised three fine young men. Please try to focus on all the good things in your life. We have a member named Lady Texan. She is an inspiration to me. Her husband has Alzheimer’s and they’ve been thru some very rough situations but she always focuses on the blessings she has. It really helps me. Hopefully it can help you. I hope you have a peaceful Easter Day.