Unsure of what to do next

ugomimi

Lately I am feeling like I am going a little crazy. I feel desperate to know if I can continue caring for DH at home. Seems every week I feel different. Basically I mostly feel that I cannot care for him in our home. DH is a veteran and I just cant figure out how to get Aide and Attendence to help pay for care, in the home  or if we went to an independant living fa cility. I drive myself crazy trying to figure what direction to pursue. I have a wondeful daughter in law that is helping me as my mind is so unsure. I thought I could do this but after covid and sick for months I am going a little crazy. I do have home care coming this week. Hoping I can get myself together soon. I know there are many in the world that deal with similar situations. I hope I can make the right decisions. So glad to shate with all of you that truly understand.

Iris L.

A Care Consultant from your local Alzheimer's Association might be able to help you sort through options.  Call the Helpline.  

Iris

Ernie123

Iris L gave the exact advice I was going to share. You definitely need sound advice about options and how to proceed. You are correct there are many of us in the world that have dealt with the stress and grief of making a placement. I would suggest you need to consider your own health and making a placement sooner than later might be of benefit to you both. In the months leading up to my DW being placed in memory care my brain was like scrambled eggs. I had to step back and act on advice from an Alzheimer’s Society counselor and my family as I was incapable of dealing with the situation on my own. Fortunately we had begun the process and had our name on a list so when she became very agitated and violent with me we were able to move up her placement date. Doing the paperwork for Powers of Attorney, researching possible care facilities should be undertaken well in advance so in the event of a crisis you are ready. My thoughts and best wishes are with you as you navigate this difficult journey.

Marie58

I'm glad your DIL is helping. This is so, so hard!! Before I placed my DH, I listened to people on the 'outside' who could see things a little more objectively. They could see what was happening to DH AND to me. You have to consider your health and well-being, too. One thing I did was make 2 lists of pros and cons for placement vs staying home. One list was for DH and one list was for me.

We placed DH in MC 7 months ago. It is still so, so hard!! I hate this disease!!

2 Young

“Seems every week I feel different.“ I totally relate to that. I vacillate daily between keeping DH home longer or placing him. Some days it’s incomprehensible to think of placing him and other days the idea that I can do it one more day/hour/minute is incomprehensible. I guess we’re stronger than we think but sometimes I think it’s difficult to grasp our own limitations.

Stuck in the middle

Stress makes it hard to think logically.  

I have also read that "brain fog" is a common aftereffect of a bout with Covid.  Under the circumstances, you are doing well to realize you need help and advice.  Take care of yourself,

JJAz

Veteran's benefits can be difficult to navigate.  The national veteran's organizations offer assistance in applications at no charge.  Don't worry about which one will be best; usually only one works in each city.  Just call and ask for assistance in applying for Aid and Assistance.

• The American Legion: Veterans Claims Assistance.
• Disabled American Veterans: National Service Program.
• Veterans of Foreign Wars: National Veterans Service.