My mom is finally at peace

hospicelover

My mom passed away Monday, April 5 after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. The family was called in to see her 10 days before she passed away. She had been in a nursing home for the past year and on hospice for the past 3 months. I saw both my grandmother and husband pass quickly and in their sleep but she fought until the very end and it was quite ugly. She was very restless during these past 10 days and would just stare at the ceiling with her mouth hanging open while pulling at her covers and her clothing. A couple of times she would see someone and try to talk to them and even was scolding someone. I don’t know who she saw but she saw someone. I spent hours at her bedside and talked to her and would play music for her and hold her hand and would tell her that I loved her. She passed when I was not there and I feel so bad that I wasn’t there with her but I did do everything I could for her. Mom was 93 and had a good life until she got Alzheimer’s. I guess what I’m really wondering is if anyone else has seen their loved one fighting so hard at the end instead of going peacefully. It was very hard to watch and I’m just glad her fight is over and she’s at peace now.

BassetHoundAnn

I'm so sorry. That must have been so very difficult for you and your family. You shouldn't feel bad that you weren't there, she may not have wanted you there when she passed, she may have wanted to spare you the sorrow. I know that was the case with a friend with dementia who ordered his family to leave the house. No matter how it happens it is always gut-wrenching and something that takes a long time to come to peace with. Take solace that you gave her so much love when she needed it most. Hugs!

Stori

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Cynbar

hospicelover, I don't have statistics but many patients pass when family is not present, some even wait for a small window of time when they are alone (such as when a spouse takes a minute to go to the bathroom.) I don't know why, but it almost seems as if it is too painful to leave loved ones when they are right there. Please don't feel badly about this, she likely was trying to make her passing as easy as possible for you.

Kath50

I am so sorry for your loss. She is definitely at peace now. I have read that some loved ones will choose to pass without family present. Thinking of you during this difficult time!

mommyandme (m&m)

I’m so sorry this has been so difficult for you and yours.  I hope that, as your mother has found peace, you may too.  She knows (and felt) you love her forever and always.

ladyzetta

I am sorry for your loss but your Mother is at peace now.  Your Mother knew what she was doing. My sister did the same thing. She passed away a few years ago and the house was full with all the family and we took turns sitting with her, at times she knew who was there. Hospice came and we took a break to get the update and when we returned to her room she was gone. My sis knew when she was doing I believe your Mother did as well. She knew how hard this would be on you. Be at peace because your Mother is.  Hugs Zetta

hospicelover

Thank you to all of you for your kind responses and reminding me that people will pass when no one is around. I am glad she’s at peace now and I did sleep really well last night for the first time in a long time.

abc123

I’m sorry for the loss of your precious Mother. Please don’t be hard on yourself because you weren’t with her when she passed. Perhaps she chose to leave this world by herself. Perhaps she was trying to protect you from the sadness.