First day of Stage 8

aod326

DH passed at 1pm today. I brought him home from MC at the end of January (with a live-in carer), and feel very lucky to have spent the last nine weeks with him. I'm hoping that a brain autopsy will reveal what caused the neurodegenerative issues (starting with seizures) that led to dementia, so that future patients may benefit. I wouldn't wish dementia on anyone.

The last 2+ years have completely revolved around caring for DH, while balancing a full time job. I don't quite know what I'll do now. I've known this would happen, but somehow it's still a shock.

The support and practical advice I received on these message boards was invaluable. I only wish I'd found everyone sooner, because I think I may have found the earlier stages a little easier to navigate. Thank you to everyone.

Nanpav

My deepest condolences. I know your pain all too well. Now is the time to focus on what you need. I wish I had heeded the advice of family and friends by finding a grief counselor. I believe it would have helped me navigate this strange new world. Although I don’t come here everyday, I still pop in to check on the amazing people on this forum. They were my lifeline for quite a while and I can’t bare to leave completely. Take care of you now. ((Hugs))

star26

I'm so sorry for the loss of your DH, aod326. I have always appreciated and valued your wise and compassionate input on these boards. Your husband was in very good hands. Take care of yourself.

M1

Aod my heart goes out to you. I am so glad that you had those last few weeks together.  May you heal well.

Jeff86

Heartfelt condolences on your DH’s passing.  Wishing you peace and rest as you negotiate the days and weeks ahead.  May your DH’s memory be a blessing.

harshedbuzz

Please accept my sympathy on the passing of your dear husband.

Wishing you peace going forward.

HB

Michael Ellenbogen

I am sorry for your loss but he is in a better place now. Now you need to make up for the time you lost and take care of you. I am sure he would want that.

White Crane

I’m so sorry for the loss of your loved one. Holding you in love and prayer.

Crushed

We are here and share your pain.

 This is my favorite poem for such moments

And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.

“Late Fragment” by Raymond Carver From A New Path to the Waterfall, Atlantic Monthly Press, 1989.

Ed1937

I'm sorry to hear of your loss. We all know the end will come, but it's hard to really be ready for it. I hope you can work yourself through the coming days by focusing on the good days.

David J

aod326, I am so sorry for your loss. May your grief be short and your memory long. From what you have written on the boards, I know you have been a strong, caring, and compassionate caregiver to your DH.  Now it’s time for you to bring those traits to your self-care. Be good to yourself and attend to your own needs now. 

piozam13

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss.  I too lost DH a few months ago.  I can't shake off  the emptiness.  The void seems like a gaping wound.  We're here to help.  Reach out.

jfkoc

Please add my condolences along with a hug.

I remember all too well the last few months and I too was glad to have had that time at home with my husband.

Many who post here are in stage 8. We continue to help each other here ...hope you will stay a while.

amicrazytoo

So sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you were able to bring him home. I'm sure that made his transition easier. May your memories bring you much joy and help you through the grieving process. (((HUGS)))

abc123

Dear aod, I’m sorry for the loss of your precious husband. It’s very hard to lose a spouse. We are never really prepared.  I hope that you will find peace and comfort in the memories you have from better days.

LadyTexan

Dear aod,

I am sincerely sorry for your loss. You have been a courageous and compassionate caregiver. I ask that the Lord comfort you and bring you peace,

You have been through so much. Please take the time to take care of you.

Love and hugs to you,

-LT

Beachfan

Dear aod,

I am so sorry for your loss.  I have always found your posts to be helpful, compassionate, non-judgemental, and a mirror of your love for your DH.  You have fought the good fight and how fortunate that you were able to spend time with him at the end.  I hope you can find peace and rest in the days and months ahead and that your memories can sustain you.  I will pray for you, your DH, and your family.  Blessings.   Lynn 

Doityourselfer

I'm sorry for your loss.  I appreciated your posts.  Take good care of yourself.

French

I am sorry for you and your family. I hope you will find your way in this new part of your life.

Mgsr04

Sending my condolences on your loss and wishing you the best for the future.

mrl

Oh, I am so sorry for the loss of your handsome husband. God Bless You. You are a wonderful

caregiver and it's absolutely the best thing you ever did to bring him home!! I too, am Stage 8

and will pray constantly for you and him.

Blessings,

Michele

Lills

I'm so sorry; we are feeling this loss with you!

GMGYPSY

   Im sorry for your loss.  It was good that you were able to spend  the last few weeks  with him at home.  I am new to stage 8 myself  and have few words of wisdom  except to say  take comfort in the knowledge  that  our husbands  are free from suffering now.     Take care of yourself.

Marie58

I'm so sorry for your loss. May God grant you peace and strength in the days and weeks ahead. Blessings to you and your family.

Joe C.

My condolences on your loss! May you find some peace in the days ahead.

aod326

Thank you all so much for your kind words. I will definitely keep coming back here - this part of the journey is complete, but there's more to come.

I'm sat here still trying to write his eulogy for the funeral tomorrow. The good thing about that is I'm focusing on him before dementia. After the funeral we are having a celebration of his life and I've asked his friends and family to think of memories they'd like to share. What my 22-year old step-daughter is calling an "open mike"!

Thank you again for your support.

ladyzetta

((((aod Hugs to You))))

You did a good job being able to spend the past 2 weeks with your DH. Please take care of yourself. He is now at peace.  Hugs Zetta 

Potsie

Dear aod, 

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you find comfort and joy in your new normal. I cannot even imagine what the next grieving process is like. HUGS TO YOU

JoseyWales

I'm so sorry for your loss. May today's funeral fill you with memories of who he was, before this awful dementia hit. And may you begin the healing process.

Hugs.

mrl

Sending you thoughts and prayers for today.

Michele