I think I’m seeing progression?

Quilting brings calm

 Had to take LO to the drivers license facility to get an ID card( not a DL).  Her out of state DL was expiring soon.  It was an adventure, made as easy as it could be by very helpful staff members.  Then to lunch and back to the ASL. 

I saw and heard a couple of things today that made me think she is progressing into the next stage. Shes been diagnosed and at stage 4 for at least 18 months now.  She told me she no longer takes a daily shower because she doesn’t need one and she has to get all wet... This is new as she was recently taking at least one shower daily and sometimes more.  Truthfully, she could easily get by with an every other day shower as she doesn’t do anything in terms of getting dirty or sweaty ( she’s 82).  But the excuse she used of getting wet made me stop and think. 

The second thing of note was her attire. It’s been 75 or higher the last couple of days, but today was back to a normal 50 or so for our area for early April.  I still can’t go into the ASL without a scheduled appointment. So I waited for her outside. She came out in a shirt and a sweater, Capri pants, low cut ankle athletic socks and her black Clark casual shoes.  She keeps her thermostat at 80.  So needless to say she was a trifle cold between the car and the buildings and in the restaurant. 

What do you think? Sound like a progression?

glitterqueenscare

Maybe, especially if she was previously always dressed appropriately weather wise.  I remember when my Mom first started dressing inappropriately for the weather.  She was always a sharp dresser so it was striking at the time.

I had a doctor tell me once that it's what they aren't aware of the will show a progression. It is a good sign that she rationally told you she didn't bathe every day for instance, if she simply stopped showering and didn't realize she wasn't doing it anymore that would be something to pay attention to.....or if she stopped wearing socks and didn't recognize she had missing socks.

It's never easy to see progression, regardless of how it presents itself.  

Quilting brings calm

Thank you glitter.  I talk to her every day and have seen her regularly  even thru Covid as there have been lots of doctor appointments, etc. These two things seemed off, but as you said, she seemed rational about it. I was a little annoyed at the ASL staff. Yes, she still dresses herself / but they could have suggested to her that it was too cold for that outfit.  ( and so could have my Dad who lives  there with her).  The staff would have seen her at breakfast, medication dispersal, and even as she passed the front desk on her way out the door. 

We did have  our usual repetitive conversations. A new  topic today was ‘ who will take care of me if something happens to you? A little morbid to me since  I’m healthy.  But again rational. 

BassetHoundAnn

I read that sufferers of dementia often stop bathing because they can no longer adjust the water temperature. They also tend to become more sensitive to water and water temperature. My mom is at stage 5 with some elements of 6 according to the geriatric clinic. I noticed maybe 8 months ago that she started complaining about being unable to adjust the water temperature in the shower, blaming it on her residence and insisting she didn't need to bath regularly.  

She's also unable to dress for the weather. When we go someplace I have to get her ready and tell her what to wear. It's a struggle just like it is with little kids because she'll refuse to wear socks, doesn't think she needs a jacket or hat, etc. even in snowy weather. 

Cynbar

Trust your instinct, you know her so well. If those behaviors seem off to you (and clearly they do), then yes, it is probably progression.There is no concrete listing of what symptoms you always see at what stage, dementia patients vary widely. Discomfort with showers and  inappropriate dress happen to most, but at different times. My Dh had trouble picking his outfits very early in the process, would sometimes dress for a business meeting when walking the dog on the beach ---- it was so unlike him that I knew something wasn't right. Now, in late stage 6, he is terrified of the shower despite all efforts to warm the room, adjust water temperature and so on --- we avoid it whenever possible.

Quilting brings calm

Well, heard sign number 3 this morning.  She couldn’t remember the names of  her two oldest step-children that she just saw yesterday.  The third wasn’t discussed . She and my step-dad year have been married for 57 years. Granted they go for years  at a time without hearing from or seeing them, but she knew those names last week.

mommyandme (m&m)

That’s hard! My first thought is she may know their names next week.

I was just thinking how it is so different day to day. Up down back forth.  

What did we do different with nourishment, activities, etc...yesterday different from the day before that had a different result for her the next morning.  Today she’s more here, yesterday she wasn’t anywhere... WHYYYYYY? 

Quilting brings calm

Good points Mommy.  The ASL has lifted most restrictions on their outside errands, so they have running errands or going to visit friends almost every day the last two weeks.   So she is probably under more stress and tired. Hopefully they will reduce some outside activity after they get over their excitement at being allowed out. 

Basset and Cynbar- thank you for your support also. 

I think the reason I am concerned right now is that I’m trying to keep them together as long as possible for financial reasons. They can afford an apartment together at the ASL for several more years.  They could afford a MC apartment together for a few years, but he will refuse to go.  They aren’t going to be to able to private pay for a ASL spot for him and an MC spot for her for long.  So when the time comes, she’s going to have to  be medically approved for a NH and  go on Medicaid. If I understand things correctly, she can’t go to an NH unless there are medical needs?  and Medicaid won’t pay for MC care other than a NH? If I read info on Illinois Medicaid correctly, he can keep most all the cash assets ( they sold their home), since they are under the Illinois  cap of $109,000.  

BassetHoundAnn

My mom has had serious trouble with names for at least the past three years. She mixes up the names of her husbands. Calls my DH by my dad's name. Can't recall which nieces are daughters of which siblings, even though she sees and talks to them regularly. 

But the kicker which is so strange is that I was recently talking to her step-daughter. She said she phoned my mom 10 years ago and she didn't know who she was. Ten years ago! At the time she thought oh-oh Alzheimer's. Back then I had absolutely no idea my mom was having memory problems. 

Many days she's just fine with names and can properly recall the names of the important people in her life. Other days not so good.