LO Ever Refused to Go to DayCare (Ahem...Activity Center)

Marp

This hasn't happened yet, but I'm wondering if anyone else has dealt with it.

My sister, who has Alzheimer's, seems open to going to an Adult Activity Center (I never call it "Day Care").  Because of Covid-19 and some other things, we haven't started that yet. 

When we do, I wonder if she'll ever refuse to go, like toddlers sometimes do.  With a toddler, you can pick them up and carry them to the day care.    I doubt I should be picking my sister up and carrying her anywhere.  

Has anyone else had to deal with this?  What did you do?

This is all assuming there is nothing wrong with the day care itself, just the attendee not wanting to go.

MN Chickadee

It was difficult to get my mother to go a day program at first. She HATED it the first week. We called it coffee club but she still didn't want to go. Said it was full of old people and she didn't belong there. I suggest you go together for lunch the first day, keep  it short. Maybe say you are volunteering together or call it lunch club or church group or whatever might resonate with her. The next time go with her and stay a half hour and then say you need to go to a doctor's appointment and you will be back for her soon and duck out. Keep the initial days short, maybe a few hours and slowly increase. The staff are likely trained in dementia and will be used to people having hard transitions at first and know ways to distract her and make her as comfortable as possible. In the beginning if my mother was very anxious they would have her call me or her spouse for reassurance. We would say we would be there shortly to pick her up and that satisfied her for the time being. The first few weeks my mother was very resistant but if I walked in with her the staff would take over from there and I would sneak out.  After a month she warmed up to it and grew to absolutely love it. It kept her active mentally and physically and social and provided the rest of the family a much needed break. She thought she worked there, as many others did as well. She ended up going for many years until late stages when she moved to MC. Later she even started getting her showers there when she refused at home. So I guess find the right therapeutic fib, and also just power through the initial challenges. Just because the first few days may be rough doesn't mean it isn't a good fit or she can't adjust, it just takes some time. The first week I would get back to my car and cry after dropping her off, but I hung in there and it got so much better. In hindsight it was the best decision we ever made to send her there.