Not sure how long I can do this.

Torri Ann

My parents are 2 of the sweetest people but right now I'm just angry and frustrated. Over 2 years of having them in our home. I take care of them primarily. I have a wonderful friend who takes them 3 days a week from 10-3 to her house and spoils them.

Dad has dementia and parkinsons and mom has moderate alzheimers. she fell 2 weeks ago and broke her arm. She was making her bed, which must be done perfectly  

Dad is 89 and in depends now. Mom is very strong just not able to reason or think well. I've stopped correcting her of course. And have to try and find out where she has hidden things.

Anyway, I try to be very patient and kind. Tonight I wasn't so much. Let my feelings show to much. I hate it when I do that because I know they can't help it. Sometimes my dad thinks he's somewhere else and asked me where he's supposed to sleep. It's just so hard to keep it together day and night. I havent yelled or been violent. Anyway...just interested in hearing you all's experiences and if anyone is in a similiar situation?

BuffaloGal

My mom used to hide things as well.  Napkins and toilet paper were her favorite thing to hide jewelry in which usually led them to accidentally being thrown away. Her OCD was folding newspapers, napkins, really anything, over and over and over.... I managed to get her wedding ring, Mothers ring, and charm bracelet away on one of my visits so I know that at least those are safe. I think if your Mom has something really important, grab it when you get a chance before it too disappears.

Its hard enough having to deal with one parent with Dementia. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with both your parents.  Its okay to be frustrated. When my Mom lived with me and wasn't as far along as she is now, I used take her to the Daily Living Center, an adult daycare, where she could hang out, do crafts, watch tv with other people etc. Is there something like this near year where you could take one or both your parents?  I'm glad you have a friend that helps you get a break at least a few hours a week, but still......

My major frustration was trying to get my Mom to bathe. Oh god the arguments. They couldn't get her to bathe in Asst living either.  It was one of the reasons we had to move her to Memory Care because she had progressed past were they were willing to care for her.

I know you probably want to keep your parents as long as you can, but for your own health and sanity it may be time to start looking at other arrangements.

Hugs

Teresag56

Hi, 

I think all of us caregivers feel this way. I try to not let my moms mood swings or her hoarding up things or whatever. My mom is so stubborn and her favorite word is I am just fine there is not one thing wrong with me I am just old...but she forgets what happened 5 minutes ago...has no idea what year it is....she can still tell time...she is almost deaf want wearing hearing aides...and eyesight is bad...I am taking care of her by myself have no family to help...do have a caregiver 8 hrs a week. Just hang in there and come here and chat with others this is a very good place 

Cynbar

I think all of us here feel that way sometimes, I know I do! But saying that, everyone comes to the end of their rope at a different time. It sounds like you have a tremendous amount on your plate, and very little help except your good friend (who sounds like a treasure, by the way.) None of us should sacrifice our mental or physical health to keep loved ones at home. It sounds like it might be time for you to at least start crafting a plan for placement.Would their finances cover private pay in a facility, at least for awhile? Have you consulted with a certified elder law attorney? Would a Medicaid application be needed? All of that has to be determined before considering placement. Once you have the money affairs in order, start researching local facilities to find a good fit. You may not need to enact this plan right away, but doing it right takes time. I know for my DH, he is still at home. But I have a Plan B ready to go when it comes to the point I can't do it anymore, and just knowing that is comforting.