LO Still Trying to Help

BrownSparrow

My dad has always been very handy and always fixed things around the house himself. He just can't do it anymore. For example, the cable stopped working so he tried to fix it and ended up yanking the phone cord out of the jack. So then the phone was broke but neither he or my mom knew why.

A version of this scenario has happened many times. 

It takes weeks to get an appointment with the cable company to come look at it, which means they are without a phone because they don't know how to use a cell phone (although they used to) and I live 3 states away. 

Of course my dad doesn't recognize that anything is wrong with his handyman skills and my dad has always done everything for my mom and she doesn't want to acknowledge that he can't so this cycle just repeats itself. 

How do you get your LO to stop trying to fix things?

Thank you!

LaurenB

It might be time for constant supervision for your LO to prevent them from attempting to utilize their handyman skills.  Additionally, that person can redirect your LO to some sort of "project" that needs fixing.  Possibly something from the thrift store that they could tinker with that doesn't cost a lot, but involves taking apart and attempting to reassemble.

harshedbuzz

I am sorry you are dealing with this behavior. 

My dad did this as well, he was constantly futzing with the wiring for the cable set top box and internet modem. Because I lived locally, I took a picture of both set ups once the tech restored them so I could set them back up. 

That said, it is very concerning that neither of them can use a flip phone despite being able to use a "cell phone" previously. It sounds like they both might need supervision 24/7.

M1

BrownSparrow, this is a constant issue for us--my partner was a professional contractor, so she was incredibly capable and thinks all of these things around the house and on the farm are still her bailiwick.  I have to work around her all the time.  The only thing that has helped--and maybe it will eventually kick in for you too--is that her loss of executive function has now progressed to the point that she won't try as much any more.  Or she'll say she's going to do something, but then forgets, and it's best if I don't remind her.   I have to be very selective about what jobs actually must be taken care of.  She's got so many contacts in the building community though, that I can usually figure out who to call if there's something that really needs doing.  Not an easy workaround though.  You have my sympathy!

Marta

Hello.  Your focus may be too narrow (trying to get him to stop fixing things).  What you describe is a situation where there is considerable loss of cognitive abilities, and it may be time to start focusing on safety and security.  e.g. is he going to try to cut electrical cords with scissors or is he going to get out the power tools.  I would have a conversation with your mom about safety measures in the home.  If he is still driving it may be time to stop.

Has he had a recent evaluation by his PCP and/or neurologist, and are they aware of the degree of his incapacity?