Unanswerable Question

DPK

DH is in mid stage and does pretty well with most everyday tasks (usually with a bit of supervision by me)  But he's started asking to go to his Mom's house lately and she passed away in 2002 and his father back in the early 70's.  Can someone suggest an answer that won't upset him, because I know he doesn't remember this at all?  I've told him they are out of town and that works most of the time.  Anything would be appreciated.  Deb

Rescue mom

What you’ve been saying is good. It could work for a long time.

You could also try “we will go, later, when....” the car repairs are done (even when nothing wrong with car),  or when the rain stops, or when the road repairs are finished, or when you yourself feel better (even if you are not sick), or when the laundry is done, etc etc. if he doesn’t remember their deaths, he likely won’t remember what you told him about delaying.

Yes, you need to fib a little, as you already know., better than upsetting him repeatedly.

DPK

Thanks, RescueMom - those are some good ideas!  I appreciate the suggestions. Deb

Arrowhead

My wife was diagnosed in July 2016. I have been dealing with your problem for over a year and a half. Both of her parents died in 2003. She doesn't just want to go, she tries to go. Only the locked gates of our fenced in yard keeps her at home. Tell your husband anything that works. Tell him that you will be going there tomorrow; they will be coming here later; there’s a problem with the car. Lucky for me, my wife understands about the quarantine, and that often helps. There are times when no matter what I say, she insists that she needs to leave. Like you, I am with her 24/7, as I am her only caregiver, for now. Alzheimer’s patients lose the ability to reason, so arguing doesn’t help. All you can do is to try to avoid confrontation. 

DPK

Thanks Arrowhead, it really just good to know that others are going through the same.  DH hasn't tried to go himself.  He doesn't have car keys or a license and so far that's worked. I've told him I'm his "personal chauffeur" and that makes him giggle.  Looks like you do Ren Fairre type things or you live in the UK.  Thanks again. Deb

Deb for Aya

As most have already said, a short response that acknowledges their request, along with a delay tactic worked best for me. Initially, I tried to just ignore the request or the statement but that didn't work because in the moment, LO did notice that she was not at least validated. She felt ignored. Once I started acknowledging the statement or request with a delay tactic, I was able to then direct the conversation to something else.

DPK

Aya, makes sense.  I'll keep on keepin' on with all the suggestions everyone has made!