Legal implications of driving after dementia diagnosis

merida

I need help in convincing my 87 year old husband with dementia to stop driving. He has a new car after wrecking his previous one and a few days ago ran into a brick wall along our driveway. He still does not understand the need to stop driving.

jfkoc

Welcome to out group merida!

I fear you will have no way of getting through to your husband by explaining or reasoning. You are going to figure out what your husband will believe if only for the moment....his age requires a test, the insurance has been cancelled due to the accidents.........

People tend to worry about their loved ones getting lost but that is only one concern. The ability to think and react quickly accompanies AD as well as other illnesses like Parkinson's  and Lewey Body. This causes accidents and yes, you do need to find out the liability with your company and in your state.

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harshedbuzz

Merida-

Legally, you could lose everything you have. I would check with your agent to discuss whether your policy covers someone with a dementia diagnosis- my parents' policy did not. 

Morally, you could be responsible for the death or disability of another person in the same way you would be letting a friend drive drunk.

Both my parents have had to give up driving. I was fortunate that dad's neurologist told him he couldn't drive. He did not take the legal steps to have dad's license rescinded so it fell to my mother an I to be enforcers for a man who loved all things automotive. I will not sugar coat this, it was hellish- dad was by turns despondent, aggressive, insulting over this. He was on androgen deprivation therapy for prostate cancer and had no circulating testosterone in his system and I don't think we would have survived this otherwise.

Because mom was still driving, they had her car and she kept the keys away from him. It's easier when the PWD is the only driver and the car can disappear with some sort of story about a safety recall that is delayed because it's waiting on a part. 

Mother's situation was different. Her cognition is fine but her vision is compromised. She had a vascular event that resulted in the loss of vision in one eye. I specifically asked the diagnosing neuro-ophthalmologist  if she was OK to drive and he assured me she was. I made her drive with me at least every other week to keep an eye on things. She had an accident at dusk after she promised she'd only drive during the day. She got a new car. I drove with her while she did the test drives. She followed me home on unfamiliar roads. She did well. And then she had the exact same accident not 60 days later. This time she's being sued. It's been just over 2 years since her accident and she'll be in court next month after delays relating to COVID. I do not look forward to the experience of my mother on the stand but it would have been much worse if it'd been my dad.

HB

May flowers

My FIL was resistant to stopping driving at first, but one thing that helped was taking a driving test at the Neurologist office. It gauged reaction times and judgment among other things and he failed it completely. The doctor told him in no uncertain terms that he could easily have wrecked and/or killed someone. That seemed to drive the point home. 

My SIL was visiting a month before the test and she let him drive which made it much harder to convince him to stop. I don’t know what she was thinking. His late wife had already taken over driving years before and hid his car keys. My SIL did realize during his visit that he could not see the lines on the road (macular degeneration) and could not make decisions to stop in time. Twice he stopped in the middle of an intersection during a red light. Scary stuff. 

I hope you are able to find a way to convince him to stop.

MN Chickadee

Trying to convince him is pointless. His brain is too compromised to understand its own deficits. This is common with dementia and reasoning will not work. Find the right therapeutic fib. Some people disable the car so it won't start. Hide the keys. "Send his car to the shop for repairs" and don't bring it back (sell it.)  Say the mechanic is still waiting on a part, maybe next week. Rinse and repeat. Eventually he will forget about it. If you yourself have a car, hide all keys. When you go somewhere together make an excuse why you will drive. You want him to enjoy the scenery. It can be a difficult stage when they can still remember they want to drive but it does pass. Do WHATEVER it takes, the risk is too great. Great financial risk for you, safety and lives of others on the road.

aod326

I suggest you blame it on someone else, either the doctor or insurance. Don't say it's your opinion, or your idea and, as others have said, don't try to convince him because he no longer has the ability to fully reason. When it got to the point where my DH kept veering across lanes, I called DH's neurologist and asked him specifically to tell DH that he could no longer drive. (DH had not yet been diagnosed with dementia.) DH hated that, as he felt he was totally fine. Every day (often several times), he would say he didn't believe me that the doctor had said that. He would often get really angry about it. I mocked up a letter from the doctor, confirming it, but he didn't understand that.

Basically I just had to stand my ground. Unless the keys were in the ignition (with me in the driving seat!), they were locked in a lockbox, with the key to the lock box hidden. The driving issue was a daily battle, until he moved to MC, but I was adamant to myself that I'd rather have the rage than have a major tragedy and/or financial ruin on my hands.

It's really tough - but please persevere. Good luck.