Lunch with DW

Crushed

I brought lunch in to DW.  Fish sticks, yogurt, Ensure and cookies I made . I hand fed her.  Her hair is down to her shoulders, just like on on our first date in 1972.  She has not had an intelligible word in over a year.  She does not respond to spoken "commands".  If you need her to stand up you take her hands a pull gently. Put food at her mouth and she will open up and chew.  She can walk aimlessly by herself.  She looks at me puzzled, without a shred of recognition. She seems in distress but I don't know why. She looks lovely.   She is 68.

What a woman she was!  Summa *$%& laud in math, physician, computer genius, feminist activist, skier , ice skater, scuba diver, animal photographer, Founding fellow of her medical specialty, mother and grandmother. Top medical position in her field in the US government. She was a hard working genius who needed a "homemaker" and I got the job.   She adored her children and we took them everywhere our work took us.    And she was my "loving companion and companionable lover".  She would get the children asleep in the "cab over" area of the RV and come back to me and say "I hope you are still awake". I was always awake 

   I don't know why we do what we do. Our life together is long over. The shell left behind is not her.  She loses interest in me and walks away

Donr

I am glad you were able to have lunch with your wife.

LadyTexan

This disease is so cruel.

I am glad you were able to have lunch together. The memories of your life before Alzheimer's are beautiful. I hope they bring you comfort.

Jeff86

Such profound loss.  What a magnificent love you had.  What was and what is walk hand in hand, neither canceling the other.

It is as LT says.  This disease is so cruel.

abc123

If only everyone could have the marriage you and DW shared.  How wonderful.

David J

When I spotted the topic, I knew it was you, Crushed. Your faithfulness to your wife is enviable. Life never seems to hand us what we planned on. You have great memories and a good family that I hope will give strength.

amicrazytoo

Your story is a true love story. You are inspiring, your wife was lucky to have found you and she you.

Pam BH

Crushed, thanks for sharing this. It's a very welcome reminder to remember the person you fell in love with, especially during the trying times.