How to handle Alzheimer's patient who likes to take their clothes off

tiaputri1985

Hi everyone,

My mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's in early 2017, and the progress has been quite fast. The last time her doctor examined her (last year), he said she's already in late stage of Alzheimer's, she's no longer recognized me and my sister, but she still remembers my dad. She's 66 and bedridden due to her advanced osteoarthritis.

Most of the time, she's unresponsive. She eats normally, no problem with her digestive system, although sometimes she doesn't wanna eat her dinner. She rarely speaks in full sentence and she also has hallucinations every now and then. I'm the backbone of the family while my father is her main caregiver, and according to my dad, she's been ripping her shirt and diapers since 2 days ago. She uses her teeth to tear her shirt to pieces. I know that it's pretty common for Alz patients to bite their stuff, or to take their clothes off to fondle themselves, but my mom didn't play with herself (at least that we know of). 

Does anyone here know how to handle this? Or has experienced a similar situation? To be honest, I've already made peace with this..I had a depression in late 2017 to 2018, because I felt like I can't cure her..but then I went to see a therapist and I felt better. I already accepted her condition and am just trying to focus on her palliative care since I know there's no cure for Alzheimer's. But sometimes it still frustrates my dad. If you're not the main caregiver, what can you do to comfort the main caregiver?

I'll appreciate all supportive answers and or feedback.

Thank you so much!

Sjodry

Hi Tia,

While my mom’s issue was a bit different (she is not bedridden), she recently went through a period of undressing herself frequently. Her Seroquel meds were adjusted and that has totally stopped the behavior (as far as I know). 

As for your dad.. I don’t know if he is open to talking or expressing his feelings, but as my mom’s main caregiver, that is what I find most helpful. I vent to my husband and aunt. Also, I have developed a sense of humor about the craziness and unpredictable parts of this journey. I mean, sometimes the most sad, but hilarious situations occur..and the only thing you can do is laugh. We as “main” caregivers are allowed to laugh and see the humor in this journey.

If your dad is a writer, perhaps he might find comfort in quietly journaling or blogging. I have some autoimmune issues that I spent years writing a humorous blog about. I think every caregiver has to find their best way of coping. And even at that..our coping is likely to always include a healthy dose of frustration!

Best of luck to you and your dad,

Sandy

M1

Hi tia and welcome; I haven't used these, but others have posted about garments that only open in the back so that PWD can't take off their Depends/briefs.  Look for threads, or someone will repost it I'm sure.  Or you can google it.....

Jo C.

Hello tiaputri and a very warm welcome to you.  This will be a rather long Post as there is a lot to discuss.   One of the first things I would like to share is that there is an excellent company that specializes in adaptive clothiing for those who have conditions that need special accommodation.   They are Buck and Buck and can be found online.  It is also a good idea to ask for one of their catalogs to be sent as they are chock-a-bloc full of all sorts of special needs clothing items for both men and women from head to toe including sleepwear for bed.

https://www.buckandbuck.com/

NOTE:  The items I think you will find of interest, are the women's clothing that actually close down the back so that a Loved One (LO) who has issues such as your mother; with such garments including sleepwear, the LO cannot take off the clothing or get inside the clothing.

Some of these garments look just like ordinary clothing; even two pieced that are actually one piece - they have closures that do not open anything in the front.  They also have jump suits as well as sleepwear that are one piece and open/close down the back.

I have used Buck and Buck and my experience was a positive one with much good customer assistance and a generious return policy.  They will even hem garments at no extra charge and if one wishes, they will also put the person's name inside the garment at no extra charge.  (Since many Members read the different Threads, I am including information that can be used by all.)

A primary issue to address for your mother are the chronic severe negative behaviors your mother has been exhibiting.  I am sorry for what is happening and can understand how overwhelming this must be for your father.   However; there is medication that can be prescribed that will quell such behaviors and help not only your father, but also your mother. Imagine how awful it mst be to live inside her head not only believing all the false beliefs but also FEELING them.  It would be a kindness and mercy to obtain adequate medication for her to restore some quality of life.

Also, sometimes our LOs will develop a "silent" urinary tract infection.  There will be no complaint of pain or burning, but most often there will be dramatic negative changes in behaviors as well as possible change in cognition and function.  Do not do a dipstick at home; those have very high error rates. It is best to get a urinalysis done at a lab which a doctor will have to order and ask the doctor to be sure to order a culture and sensitivity to ensure that any infection will be found and identified.

If your mother is at the late stages of her disease, Hospice can also come in to assist.  Usually, to get Hospice, a person must have only six months or less to live; but with dementia, this criteria is most often expanded.  Some of our Members have had LOs on Hospice for up to two years  When one has Hospice, one no longer goes to the hospital for life saving treatment; one instead will have a Hospice physician managing the care along with an RN who is assigned to the patient who visits at the house as often as needed. Medicare pays for all of this.  Hospice will also provide all necessary equpment for care at no cost to the family; this includes a hospital bed as well as other items.  A bath aide is also assigned to come in and bathe the patient several times a week and do light housekeeping of the patient's room.  A social worker is assigned to the family and there is also a chaplain if one would want that service.  In Hospice, their goal is to support both the patient AND  the caregiver.  They also have medication prescribed and can make adjustments as needed for the patient.

If one must make the decision due to level of care to admit the LO to a care facility, Hospice  can also follow the patient into the facility; they are, in such a setting, extra eyes, hands, ears and support for the family.

One needs a physician order to have Hospice service, BUT do not worry about that; Hospice RNs come out to do an intake to assess the patient for service and the Hospice RN will get the doctor's orders.

Hospice may be something that you may wish to discuss with your father and family; it could be much support for everyone.

One can find Hospice services in one's area by using the computer to do a search.  Each Hospice may be a bit different from another with some being more beneficent than others.   My personal experience as both a carer and as an RN, is that the larger Hospice organizations provide a more positive service than do the small mom and pop ones.  When calling a Hospice, I always like to tell the person answering the phone that I need to speak to the RN supervisor re a private matter.  I can then discuss the Hospice services with the supervisor and also discuss my LOs condition and needs. It is helpful to find a Hospice that feels it would be a good fit; I usually call several.

In any case, your father could certainly use some relief as well as much needed emotional support and as said, Hospice services are at no cost.  You are a blessing to your parents with your caring and your advocacy looking for ways to help.

NOTE:  The Alzheimer's Assn. has a 24 Hour Helpline 365 days a year; if you call, ask to be transferred to a Care Consultant.  There are no fees for this service.  Consultants are highly educated Social Workers who specialize in dementia and family dynamics. They are very supportive and can be very helpful with information and are often able to assist us with our problem solving.

I send you and your family warmest thoughts; I so hope that some assistance can be brought in to help.  Please do let us know how things are going; we will be thinking of you and we truly do care.

J.

Jo C.

ttt

JJAz

Silverts.com also has anti-strip clothing.

tiaputri1985

Thank you so much for your feedback! This is helpful!

tiaputri1985

Thank you so much for explaining, this. I've checked the buckandbuck and I think I'll order some for my mom. As for hospice, since I live in Jakarta, Indonesia, it's not that common but I do find some services that provide nurses that can come to my dad's home. Been using a service from one provider since last year to prevent my dad from burning out, give him a break for a few days - on and off. But sometimes my dad still feels uneasy to leave the nurse to do the work, leaning towards micromanaging.

Thank you for warm support, this group has made me feel less alone.

Michael Ellenbogen

Since I have been living with dementia, I have found that clothes that fit me tight are uncomfortable and I now like to wear everything a bit bigger then i really need it. My paints size is 2 inches bigger then what I need and at times that is not loose enough so I open up the front. I also no longer like an cloths that as not smooth and are scratchy. Now if I was in the later stages I just may be one who would remove them if I was not completely comfortable in very loose cloths. I say all this as this could be what apers may be dealing with.